Finally, after a long wait (especially the last month is often painful), your baby is in your arms. With the first you look in amazement at the miracle you have just brought into the world and you have no idea what awaits you. At the next time you are already an old hand in the profession and you recognize things from the last time, but you also immediately discover a lot of differences. With a baby, education is very primary, after all, that young life only revolves around 3 things: sleeping, eating and attention. Yet every baby has its own character with nice and less nice qualities. The art of parenting includes emphasizing the nice qualities and keeping the less nice qualities under control.
This article is largely based on my own experiences, after having 3 daughters in 4 years that is quite a few. Not only do the girls not look much alike on the outside, they are also very different on the inside. We had to approach all 3 in a different way, but the result was the same for all 3: cheerful, happy babies who entered the toddler phase confidently and confidently.
Babies
- Preparation
- Pregnancy
- Birth
- The baby
- To cry
- To sleep
- To eat
- Attention
- Conclusion
Preparation
Pregnancy
It may sound strange, but education starts with your pregnancy. In that sense, you’re going to prepare. Every being has its own personality and therefore its own preference of approach. You approach a busy child very differently than a quiet child. The child growing in your belly already has its own character and you can often already know what to expect; as they are in your belly, so they are often in the crib.
My eldest kicked me and her father black and blue when she was in my belly , the bottom of the crib had to be lowered after 3 months otherwise she would jump out. My middle child preferred to sit on the left side of my stomach (very annoying, such a crooked stomach), in the crib she preferred to lie on her left side, which meant she could turn around very quickly. I sometimes didn’t feel my youngest for 3 days, as a baby she was sometimes so calm that we barely noticed the difference in the expansion of the family.
Birth
Try to remain as calm as possible during your birth. Unfortunately, you cannot control whether your birth is easy or difficult, but you can try to do as much as possible about that. Yoga might be a good preparation. I have never done pregnancy gym myself, nor have I missed it, that is a personal choice for everyone.
Don’t panic because of the pain, which can be very intense, be prepared for that.
The first time I was quite angry about the pink cloud stories, personally I found childbirth to be a painful and far from pleasant activity. I would do it again in a heartbeat because although it is literally and figuratively a job, the reward is great!
The baby
To cry
All babies cry. One more than the other. My middle child’s record was 9 hours in a day, my youngest’s was 1½ hours and that was only because she had an ear infection at the time, normally her average was ½ hour at most. There are different types of cries. My eldest often cried out of anger, she wanted to do things she couldn’t do yet. The middle one was crying in pain, her stomach wasn’t working properly and that was causing excess stomach acid which of course hurts. The youngest only cried when she was hungry, which was quickly and easily remedied.
You automatically know what kind of cries you are dealing with. A mother’s instinct is flawless in that regard. Don’t be put off if you suspect that your baby is in pain, especially young mothers are sometimes labeled as overprotective or inexperienced. If you think there is something, then it often is, have an expert look at it, they are in favor of it and better 10 x too much than 1 x too little.
Personally, I am not in favor of letting a baby cry. I personally think it’s nonsense that you could spoil a baby by picking it up too quickly for whatever reason; a baby only needs love and food, you cannot spoil it at all.
To sleep
Every being has its own biorhythm, why should it be different for a baby? Why does a baby have to sleep at 7 p.m. if the child is not tired at all? Does he have obligations the next day? Does he have to go to school or work? Or is it because you want peace yourself? The child has just been born and you are already tired of him? You can answer all answers negatively, I suppose.
If your baby doesn’t want to sleep at night, take him with you. In the box or in the bouncer, on your chest when you lie down on the couch, it doesn’t matter. Regularity and rest are absolutely important, but don’t overdo it. The baby will certainly fall asleep when he is tired, some babies prefer to sleep with a buzz or in the car. A baby who is used to too much regularity and silence cannot be taken anywhere and will become upset if the day goes a little differently than normal.
To eat
Some people eat more than others, and this is no different for babies. One baby needs more than the other. You can accommodate this a little. You will receive a nutrition plan from the clinic. It’s okay to deviate from this a bit. A hungry baby can eat a little more. That is a matter of trial and error, you can do a little more per feeding or a little less and an extra feeding. You are also allowed to deviate slightly from the times. Why force feeding when the child has no need for it yet, why wait with feeding when the baby clearly indicates that it wants to eat, and now (believe me, they are very good at that).
My youngest was a real hungry boy and was on an extra diet almost from the start. By the way, she is now the slimmest of the 3 and one of the slimmest in her class. Although she was a chubby baby, she was certainly not fat. Children become fat because of predisposition and junk food, not because they were given a little more than the average prescribed during their baby years.
Attention
The more attention the baby receives, the faster the child becomes social. As a woman with the newly acquired status of mother, it is sometimes not easy to hand over your child. Some sit on their offspring like true lionesses and start to growl internally when someone even points to the child. Remember: letting go starts at birth. You have put a human being on earth with all the associated obligations and responsibilities. That person is your own person and not your property.
Older brothers and sisters, pets and visitors, they all like the baby and the intention is that this is not only mutual, but that it stays that way. It is not dirty to let the dog sniff, an overly sterile environment only makes the baby more vulnerable. In the beginning it still has antibodies from the mother, but later the baby really has to produce them itself. If there is nothing to guard against, there is nothing to create.
Talking, cuddling and playing, you can’t do it enough. A baby can communicate very quickly, after all, he will quickly let you know when he doesn’t like something, but he must learn as quickly as possible that this communication goes both ways.
Conclusion
Many rules and guidelines have been described, but practice is always different from theory. The magic word is adapting and that is what both parents and babies have to learn. You can use the guidelines and advice as a basis, but never go against your own feelings. Rest and regularity are important, but if you are too strict about this, the baby will have problems with flexibility, will have difficulty adapting and will have even more difficulty as an adult in unusual situations that can be annoying enough.