An extramarital relationship is a difficult concept for many people. Once you have been promised faithfulness at the wedding ceremony, you have sex with only your life partner. This is often also the end of a marriage. Marriage is the dream of almost every girl, by wearing a white wedding dress they feel like a princess for a day, which is why marriage for women is very popular. A man often looks at it from the practical side and will have to entrust the woman with everything he has built up when entering into a marriage in community of property.
The promise
All marriages must be solemnized by an officiant at the town hall or town hall. This registers at the civil registry that both people have decided to share their lives together. This can be done in community of property, where all benefits and burdens are shared, but also under prenuptial agreements, whereby everyone’s property remains their own. Nothing is shared. Many people want to live together with their partner but do not want to take any risks in the event of a possible divorce. Many people see this as distrust of their partner, others as a well-thought-out decision. In fact, a divorce that may occur in the future is already being considered, so there is not 100% trust at that time, unlike a marriage in community of property. The fact remains that making a promise is something that very few people can keep. Not only the promise not to deceive each other with another, but also the fulfillment of the promise to stay together in sickness and in health, wealth and poverty, until death do them part. Almost 50% of those promises are broken prematurely.
Another
You have made your promise and yet you are confronted with a pleasant colleague at work. You can talk to that colleague, laugh and perhaps share your problems. You notice that you enjoy being with that colleague and that you miss that colleague very much when he has a day off. Over time you notice that your feelings were stronger than you thought. You want to keep your feet on the ground and tell yourself that you made a promise to your partner at a time when you did not yet know about the existence of your new colleague. However, this colleague has a lot that your partner does not have and vice versa. Your colleague listens better to your stories, visibly enjoys them more, takes better care of himself than your partner and talks more or less. You even notice that you find your colleague more attractive than your partner and slowly the desire for more starts to grow against your will. You even notice that your colleague comes closer to you more and more, touches you more or sits closer to you or even tries to seduce you with gestures or emails or text messages with a sexual touch. The moment your colleague wants to meet up with you, you lose your sense of reality and allow yourself to be seduced. And then disaster strikes, the first kiss follows and your desires increase. You go home with your colleague and can no longer hold back. You let yourself go once and then never again.
But that lovemaking was so wonderful and your colleague seduces you more and more. The thought of that wonderful lovemaking makes you decide that you want it again and slowly a relationship develops. Then comes the realization that you are cheating on your partner. Something you didn’t want at all and didn’t see coming when you pledged your loyalty. This happens to many people, although their partners do not want to show any understanding.
The discovery
You are at home and decide to grab your laptop to do your work or search for something on the internet or check your email. You discover sexually explicit emails to your partner from someone you’ve never heard of before. You feel betrayed and humiliated. You get the idea that you haven’t given your partner enough, even though your partner never indicated this. You blame yourself, am I not taking care of myself well enough, am I no longer attractive, am I no longer exciting enough. You confront your partner about this and he reacts surprisingly, negatively and shamefully and tells you that it is not your fault and apologizes. Many partners want to accept one misstep and fight for the marriage. But mistrust creeps over you and you decide to keep an eye on your partner in the future. This is quite a task, checking emails, checking phone. You don’t find anything, but your partner may have deleted it prematurely. Your partner has to leave for a work meeting, but it could also be that colleague. You want to call your partner at work, but he or she is in a meeting, in a meeting or with that colleague?
Never again will the confidence that your partner is only there for you come back. Ideally, you would like to keep it connected to an electric ankle bracelet at home, but that is simply not possible. Then you realize that you have lost your love for your partner, that a rift has occurred in the relationship. A divorce seems to be the solution, but life with the next partner will also be difficult, who can also cheat on you with someone else despite marriage promises.
Cause
An extramarital relationship can have various causes. You meet someone else at work, in the supermarket or at the sports club. Many people experience little excitement and decide to seek out excitement through internet dating and contact others. The fact is that we humans also have an animal instinct and cannot remain faithful to one partner. In most cases it is the man who seeks excitement outside the marriage. The woman is often busy with work and the children, in which case his girlfriend has taken over the mother role and he is looking for a girlfriend with whom he can make love. A girlfriend who is there for him and not for anyone else. In that case he has a mother at home who takes care of his children and a girlfriend somewhere else. For the woman it is the attention she lacks at home, a man who is often away for work and hobbies, a man who can no longer satisfy her because she feels sex is perfunctory with him. The woman wants something other than cooking food and cleaning and doing the laundry for the children and the wife and is looking for a man who offers something new. A man who lets her enjoy herself and gives her attention, a man who is grateful for what she gives him. She often no longer feels that gratitude from her husband for her work at home and for the children.
Fidelity
What really is fidelity in a marriage promise? In practical terms, fidelity to marital vows is no more than providing for each other financially until death do us part. Running a joint household even if one is ill or experiencing financial difficulties. The law does not prohibit having sex with someone other than your partner. It’s just the feeling of betrayal and being cheated on and having failed as a partner because your partner is secretly having sex with other people that makes the subject so taboo. For men, having sex with someone else is not something emotional, for a man it is often purely about conquering another woman. After having sex once, the tension is often gone. A woman, on the other hand, is more likely to have feelings for the other person. The satisfying feeling can give feelings of falling in love and often leaves you longing for more. This already shows that a woman can forgive a man’s slip-ups more easily than a man has to forgive his wife’s slip-ups. The man wants to be the hunter and does not want to lose his prey to someone else.
Live together
Many people do not feel like promising someone else their entire life and decide not to get married. They therefore find living together more attractive. Living together has a lot of advantages, there is no need for a lawyer to arrange everything financially. When you break up, you can decide together what the best solution is and save a lot of money. Moreover, you save a lot of money on a marriage that has a chance of ending prematurely.