In our modern society, the classic form of a family: man – woman – children is becoming less and less common. One of the main reasons is that couples are increasingly breaking up and then re-engaging. When children are involved, this can make a new relationship very difficult. It is normal that your new partner and your children are not immediately each other’s best friends. But how do you know if this will improve or if your new boyfriend will never really accept your children? The following signs are an indication that things will probably never work out between your new boyfriend and your child:
Your friend never speaks directly to your child
Maybe your friend is just shy. If not, this is a bad sign. This is a bad sign, especially if your partner criticizes your children’s behavior, but can only tell you about this and cannot communicate with your son/daughter.
Your new friend gives gifts aimed at seeing your child as little as possible
When your friend generously opens his wallet to give gifts, think twice about what the purpose is. A new TV for the room may mean that your son/daughter will spend more time in the bedroom and less time with you as a family.
Your friend wants to go on trips with you… but not with your child
You can only become a real family if you spend time together. Free time is something we are all attached to. If your friend doesn’t want to share this free time with your son/daughter, it probably indicates that your son/daughter is too much of it for you. If he always makes a big deal out of sharing free time as a family, this is a strong indication that he is unwilling to include your child.
Your friend is jealous of your child
You wouldn’t think this was possible, but it happens all too often. You go somewhere together and you are put in the referee position to decide which choices are made. If your friend acts annoyed when you do something special for your son/daughter, it probably indicates that he is jealous of the attention and the special place your child has for you.
Your friend expects your child to behave like an adult
When your friend demands that your son/daughter is always calm, always neat and orderly. If he demands that your child always behaves responsibly and takes on all tasks without complaining, this indicates that he cannot handle having a child around. Perhaps he himself needs your care and sees the child as competition. Expecting your son/daughter to behave like an adult can put him in an unfair fight. His (unconscious) intention is to put himself in a victim position. He can then argue that he is always exemplary, while the child is unreasonable and still gets everything done from you. By expecting your child to behave like an adult, he is essentially putting himself in the position of a child. You don’t want to enter into a relationship with such a partner!
You keep postponing a meeting between your new partner and your child
This is probably a good indication that you sense that your new boyfriend doesn’t want to know about your children. However, at some point you will have to take the leap of faith and introduce them to each other. If you really like your new friend, you should take this chance.