Both children and adults lie regularly. On average we lie 10 times a week. The reason is often for your own gain or to make yourself appear better than you are. Children often do not lie consciously yet, but they do learn to deal with lies. The truth should not lie: lies are most often about the salary.
People lie, that’s a fact
It is clear that people lie. People who say they have never lied are also lying. Everyone lies sometimes, no matter how small the lie. Sometimes we don’t even recognize our own lie. More than 80 percent of people lie to their conversation partner. This is not always conscious and we do not always see it as lying.
We are no strangers to lying: most animals lie too . Not with words, but with actions. The following examples show how good animals are at lying:
- The peacock butterfly (butterfly) has eyes on its wings. When a bird wants to attack it, the butterfly opens its wings. The bird thinks it is dealing with a large animal and flies away in fright.
- A male barn swallow that has fertilized a female cries out that there is danger. Other males immediately flee. This prevents the male from stealing his female from other males.
There are many more examples, but it is clear that animals lie for their own gain. This could be food, a mate or a territory. Animals do not lie consciously to want to lie.
Why do people consciously lie?
Man is not born a liar, and most people will not consciously want to become a liar. As a small child, a child learns to lie for his own gain. Until the age of about three, children do not consciously lie. If they do lie, it is out of ignorance. This process changes around the age of three. A toddler who asks for a candy that is refused will often try to grab the candy. When mother asks if he took a piece of candy, he will sometimes accidentally answer no instead of yes. The result is that mother does not discuss it further. Toddler has learned that lying means that there is no threat of punishment. Later, children lie to avoid punishment. Children are not yet busy lying to make themselves look better, as adults often do. As a child grows older, he or she learns to clearly distinguish between truth and lies.
What do adults lie about?
First of all, adults lie, just like children, to avoid punishment. In most cases, a shoplifter will not admit to having stolen something. An employee who calls his foreign family at the boss’s expense will not admit this either. We don’t want to face the consequences of our actions because we are aware of what we are doing wrong.
Lying is also mainly done for personal gain or to pretend to be better than you are, i.e. for status. Most people lie about the salary someone earns. No one wants to admit that he or she earns less than their colleague, neighbor or friend. But do you earn less than your conversation partner? Because this one can lie just as hard. During a job application, people often lie about hobbies, work experience, education and previous salary. All to get that coveted job and make more profit from it. People also often lie about their age, especially women do this more often than men.
Ultimately, we lie so as not to offend someone. If everyone knew the truth , the world would be a hard place. We lie about someone’s new haircut (beautiful! while it’s terrible) or about someone’s age (you look really young, while that person just looks ten years older). This kind of lying is not always bad: in most cases, the other person feels a growing self-confidence. But it can also go the other way: for example, lying that someone doesn’t smell from their mouth, while the smell is actually unbearable. In this case, the conversation partner thinks that he or she has no mouth odor at all, but is kept at a distance by everyone. In this case, it is better to be honest so that the person can work on their mouth odor.
A white lie
Lying to children is not always fun, but sometimes it is necessary. We are obviously not going to criticize a toddler who comes home with a drawing full of jitters. We are lying by saying that it has become a beautiful work of art. Only through this lie will the child grow in self-confidence and will learn to draw better and better. But don’t lie about serious matters or knowingly to the child. Parents have an exemplary role for their child. A white lie is therefore allowed, as long as it has a thorough reason.