Communication is complicated, especially non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication through body language is also much older than verbal ways of making contact. Verbal responses often fall completely short and non-verbal responses say much more. It is not without reason that ninety percent of our communication consists of non-verbal signals. So our body language. Learn to flirt and successfully seduce with good body language, together they determine the first impression someone has of you.
Communication is mainly body language and body language
Communication takes place on multiple levels. Verbal and non-verbal. Verbal concerns the content and what is said. So the words. Non-verbal is about the way in which something is conveyed. The expression, feelings, self-confidence and openness. Even if you call someone a villain, but say it very kindly, it will come across very differently.
The non-verbal signals of body language, the first impression of someone
Non-verbal communication quickly determines the first impression when applying for a job, the first impression someone gets of you. During a first meeting, date or when applying for a job. The most important non-verbal communication methods are:
- The touch, making physical contact
- Zone
- Posture, mirroring
- Gestures
- Facial expressions
- Eye contact
The touch, making physical contact
The first time of physical contact is essential. How to touch, hold, or shake hands with someone. Is it a firm contact with a firm handshake, do you have wet hands, do you only give your fingertips during a handshake and so on. And of course, how you hug and kiss. All non-verbal, but unconsciously saying a lot about your person.
Zone
You will also recognize this. When you talk to someone, one person stands almost on your toes, while the other keeps a safe distance. Everyone has their own territory and zone and you cannot enter it with impunity. Whether it is possible and appropriate depends, among other things, on your relationship with the other person. In a hierarchical or social sense. Just pay attention on the bus or tram: non-verbal signals quickly indicate that you are getting too close to someone else. Heads are turned away, people look stony and so on. Signals that everyone understands.
Posture, mirroring
With your attitude you not only determine how you come across to others, but you also indicate what your attitude is towards others. Friendly people sit close to each other. Competitive against each other. Are you in a group or outside it? Furthermore, someone who walks clearly upright makes a different impression than someone who walks hunched over. One person seems to be able to handle the world, while the bent-over person will appear more worried. Your attitude indicates whether you are open to others or closed. Think of the arms and legs crossed and so on. Dominant types also have their own attitude. Finally, your attitude often indicates how you feel emotionally: free, happy or sad. Mirroring can be done consciously or unconsciously. Mirroring means that you adopt the same position as your conversation partner, which consciously or unconsciously gives you more confidence. Don’t force mirroring, because then it will look a lot like imitation.
Gestures
In fact, you can make gestures with all your limbs and head. An Italian has a broad gestural presence, while a Northerner is generally much more sparse in his gestures. When words fail, gestures say it all. For anger, fear, tension, happiness and sadness. With clenched fists or shaking the head.
Facial expressions
Then the face. A source of emotional expressions. In a non-verbal way, someone’s emotional state becomes abundantly clear. In some cultures, specific facial expressions are even appropriate for certain events, which everyone adheres to. It is not without reason that we also know the expression that someone’s face is like thunder. Through the facial expressions you give non-verbal reactions that are meaningful to the recipient of the messages.
Eye contact
Eye contact, or lack thereof, plays an important role in communication. It says something about the emotional state of the other person and the relationship with the person approaching. It has a regulating effect in a conversation and can be experienced as too dominant if eye contact is too long. People will look longer if they want closer contact. Eye contact is also important for finding the right date.
The importance of non-verbal signals
A first impression is formed on the basis of non-verbal signals. But why do we attach so much importance to it? Well, researcher Argyle mentioned the following arguments for this:
- Lack of verbal coding capabilities in some areas. Sometimes there are just no words.
- Non-verbal signals are more powerful.
- Non-verbal signals are less easy to consciously control and will therefore often be interpreted as real.
- It is difficult to determine from words whether the truth is being spoken.
- One cannot always say that one does not like the other.
- It is very useful to be able to use a second channel in addition to the spoken language.
- When the verbal and non-verbal code match, the communication is unambiguous. Otherwise there is a high risk of confusion and people will not know what to take seriously.
Key lock
In short, non-verbal communication is very powerful and always present. You can twist words a bit, but the non-verbal signals that we all send usually do not do that. Good thing, too.