People are herd animals. People live in groups, live in groups, play in groups and work in groups. A person wants to belong to a group, even if that is the group that prefers not to belong anywhere. People socialize in a group or turn away from it. People identify with a group and can then add something to their own identity. A group has norms and values. Man has a choice: do I want to conform or not.
Communication How do we communicate?
All humanity, with its culture and development, depends on communication. Communication is: sharing.
Communication can be verbal, this is the use of words, sentences, and non-verbal, this is the use of the body.
The verbal part ensures that something is said, the non-verbal HOW it is said.
Two ways of communication
,Hey, you got new shoes!, can be explained in two ways:
- I see you have new shoes and I like them.
- I see you have new shoes, but I think they’re ugly.
Often it quickly becomes clear what is meant by the non-verbal behavior of this statement.
Cause and effect
Communication in a small group, for example in a relationship, can also lead to cause and effect in behavior.
Otto Marmet mentions an example in his book Small Social Psychology. An energetic woman lives with a passive man. SHE often complains that she has to do everything alone, her husband is not interested in anything. HE lets her have her way, because he knows that it will happen the way she wants it to. Of course, it can also be seen by the uninitiated that both influence each other reciprocally.
Consensus and argument
Communication can encourage two or more people to have a good conversation. The goal of such a conversation is always consensus. Communication can also lead to disputes, in which the participating people both want to be right. This often turns into an argument. This often occurs in children.
Standards
The definition of ‘standard’ is: rule, guideline. As a rule, people want to belong to a group that lives and thinks according to its own standards. The behavior of such a group is in line with its own desirability. A person looks for a group where he or she feels at home. Within such a group, a person can function optimally and because he or she feels comfortable, he or she also performs at will.
Right or wrong
- When choosing a political party during elections, the norms of those parties play a major role.
- When choosing people with whom one likes to hang out, the norms of those ‘friends’ play a role.
- Standards play a role in the choice of people with whom one likes to work.
Belonging to a group can also lead to a standstill of development. The way of thinking of people in such a group is too similar.
People who have different ideas and opinions become submerged or turn away from a group. Turning away from a group can sometimes have very dire consequences for a person.
Position, place in the group
In a group, whether at home, at work or on holiday, everyone has a certain position. A person can be the busy talker, the controller, the clown or the quiet one who lets everything happen to him.
In a spontaneously created group, the position of the leader also arises spontaneously. He or she determines a goal, takes initiatives, has ideas, arranges matters within such a group and can empathize with the needs of the individuals.
Freud
Freud called the parent-child relationship the basis for the communication patterns that a person uses in contact with others for the rest of his life. These same patterns also occur in a leader-group member relationship. The group member sees the leader as an example and identifies with it.
The leader
A study by Intermediair produced four types of leaders:
- The masculine leader. This one is dominant and powerful
- The feminine leader is warm and sensitive
- The androgynous leader possesses the above four qualities
- The undifferentiated leader has little or no possession of the above four qualities
In society it appears that the androgynous leader is most appreciated by most people. Women often seem to possess those four qualities.
Offerhaus
Rogier Offerhaus, trainer and author of Inspirational Leadership, mentions three types of leadership:
- The active doer, an adult
- The positive thinker, an adult
- The happy feeler, a child)
He bases these types on Freud’s ideas.
And Freud again
Freud spoke about the superego, the ego and idego, man has all within him.
- The superego The human being the ‘I’, I am the winner, I am the manager.
- The Ego is used to help people realize themselves.
- The Idego. This contains the instincts and needs of man: hunger, thirst, fight, flight, love.
A good, inspiring leader uses his or her ‘active doer’ to communicate with employees and do the work. The ‘positive thinker’ emerges when determining a goal, devising strategies and structures and making decisions. The ‘happy feeler’ inspires and motivates the team.
read more
- How do children learn to understand, speak and use language?
- Listening to children solves problems
- Writing, the how and why of communicating on paper
- Reading aloud to children, interactive and reading books together
- Learning vocabulary, at home and at school, school performance