‘My son doesn’t want that’, ‘my daughter only wants to watch TV’, ‘homework? My child doesn’t know that!’. Parents regularly encounter such problems. The problem often lies with the child’s motivation, which sometimes drops to zero, especially for the annoying chores. How can you motivate your child to also do the annoying chores and homework? Almost all children are indeed motivated. However, they are not always motivated to behave and do annoying chores. Some children even seem motivated only to do nothing and sit around on the couch. Motivating your child can be experienced as personal coaching .
Motivation
Motivation generally has two main sources : internal and external motivation. Internal motivation comes from ourselves, external motivation comes from outside things, such as a bet or monetary reward. In the ideal situation, internal and external motivation are combined.
Good luck
Our inner motivation grows strongly through success . When your employer compliments you for your hard work, you feel proud and your self-confidence grows, as does your inner motivation. You are inclined to continue working hard. However, many children encounter repeated motivational problems , partly because they have to deal with various physical and psychological forces that act on them and sometimes limit them, such as puberty, school choices, sports, the first boyfriends and girlfriends, unpleasant physical changes and the demand imposed on them to grow up. Failure demotivates a child . Success motivates a child. You can use and apply this science very well in practice by emphasizing the positive side of your child and explicitly rewarding progress and success – no matter how small. This can be done by complimenting your child on his approach to a problem, writing a sweet card for your son who has passed the exam he was dreading or giving your daughter an extra ice cream when she has tidied up her room. . When a child feels successful and appreciated, he or she will want to continue on the same path, because success forms a self- reinforcing positive spiral .
Small steps
It is very difficult to achieve your goal in one go. This works the same for children. It is better to agree that your son will only clean his desk on Wednesdays rather than having to clean his entire room. Small steps are clear , achievable and provide satisfaction when they are achieved. Due to the greater chance of success, a child learns to adjust his expectations from ,that probably won’t work, to ,ha, I did that nicely!,.
Keep it light
Try to focus on the positive side and not the negative side. Many parents tend to focus on the things that are not going well. However, this is extremely demotivating for a child, he or she may even start to feel worthless and unwanted . If you have negative feedback for your child or want to correct it , try to make it as light-hearted as possible and add humor where possible. If your son has forgotten to rake the garden, you can, for example, hang a note on his room door saying ,have fun raking,. However, this only works if your child has really forgotten and is not trying to get out of it, in which case a light-hearted approach often works less well.