When someone says they study psychology, it is often assumed that that student can read other people’s minds. However, this is not what someone learns while studying psychology. Yet it is possible, with information from psychology, to develop yourself better in the field of mind reading. In any case, people tend to interpret and interpret other people’s behavior. This strong tendency also means things often go wrong. How do you ensure that you make mistakes less often and can better understand what is going on in the other person?
Get to know
The most important thing in understanding and sensing someone else’s thoughts is of course to get to know someone better. You know better what your partner likes, wants to do, or what is going through his mind at that moment, than you know this from a stranger. An acquaintance is not called an acquaintance for nothing: you know this person better. Because you know how someone acts in certain situations, you will be able to predict better how someone will act in the future. It is then easier to interpret the other person.
To ask
Another way is to simply ask someone’s thoughts. Not as in cheating, but to learn from it. When you interpret someone else’s behavior or assume that he/she probably thinks that, you can still be wrong. If you don’t learn what was really going on in the other person’s mind, you will probably continue to be wrong. By asking for feedback, you can ultimately form a better and more accurate picture of someone.
To practice
Furthermore, it is of course important to pay attention to facial expressions. Someone who laughs feels happy, someone who pouts is probably sad. A frown between the eyebrows indicates anger or even rage, and wide eyes indicate fear. Pay particular attention to the eyes and less to the mouth. We all know the forced smile. It is mainly the eyes that show whether someone’s smile is sincere or not. It is also possible to train yourself in this by standing in front of the mirror and practicing expressing and observing expressions.
Give attention
Pay attention. This sounds like a no-brainer, but that doesn’t make it any less true. You will find it much easier to learn more about someone by focusing your attention on them. When you are busy with other things, you are more likely to overlook gestures and expressions. Turn to the other person and give him/her your full attention. Above all, be open to everything the other person gives you.
Theory of Mind
Furthermore, it is also mainly dependent on the development of your ,Theory of Mind,. This is your ability to attribute emotions, thoughts, intentions, etc. to yourself and others, so how good you are at assessing others, as well as the understanding that not everyone thinks the same way. It seems that this is innate, so in that case you are also a bit at the mercy of what nature has given you. The development of ToM starts around 2-3 years. During this time, a toddler learns about the wishes of others (,first beliefs,). About two years later the child learns about ,false beliefs,. An example can be given with the Sally-Anne experiment:
A child sees two dolls on a table with a marble, a basket and a box. One doll, Sally, hides the marble in a basket and closes it. Sally then leaves the room. Anne then takes the marble out of the basket and puts it in a box. Then Sally comes back. Ask the child where she thinks Sally will look to get the marble again.
If a child is aware of ,false beliefs, she will say that Sally is looking in the basket because she does not know that the marble has been switched places. So the child knows that Sally does not know the same thing as what the child knows. So the child can already put himself in Sally’s shoes. This is often possible at a somewhat older age (about six years). A four-year-old child often does not realize this yet.
Someone with a well-developed ,Theory of Mind, has a better idea of what someone else is thinking, and is therefore better at reading other people’s thoughts.