Black and white talkers are characterized by strong opinions that they can express in a fairly aggressive manner. It’s like they say. They are absolute in their opinions. This allows them to really offend others who have a different opinion. It is not easy to get black and white talkers to talk and think differently. They are often programmed this way from an early age. Heredity and brain chemicals also play a role. Some characteristics and causes are examined in more detail, as well as the question of whether something can be done about it and, if so, to what extent?
Characteristics that can occur in black and white talkers
A black and white talker can have several characteristics such as:
- it is this way and not otherwise (it is ‘black or white’)
- there is no middle ground (gray area)
- absolute rigid position, prejudices
- aggressive (raised voice)
- impulsive
- base opinions on few or no facts or make them up
- stress, anxiety, envy, jealousy
- perseverance, repetition
- know best (know-it-all)
- narcissistic traits
A closer look at some characteristics and causes of black-and-white talkers
Black-and-white talkers may have personality traits such as anxious, sensitive to stress, envious and jealous.
Fear
Black and white talking occurs in people who are anxious. They convert a feeling of inferiority into absolute ideas: It is this way and there is no other way. With such a position they compensate for fear. They can also say nothing or walk away, but compensators can take a rather attacking attitude. These people often need admiration from others. In an extreme form we see this with narcissism (e.g. in the workplace).
Stress
Black-and-white talkers appear to be quite sensitive to stress. They produce too little cortisol . It is a substance that regulates stress. Too little cortisol brings the body into imbalance. 1 Fear and aggression can be the result.
Stress -sensitive parents pass on these hereditary behavioral characteristics and reinforce them in their upbringing . If the parents are black and white talkers, the children will take over. Children are then raised from an early age with absolute prejudices . They are raised with little to no room for other ideas. If parents with certain ideas feel that they are being disadvantaged and therefore stressed, they can have strong opinions and convey this to their children. Often the parents themselves were raised this way.
Envy, jealousy
Black and white talkers appear to exhibit quite jealous (focused on people), envious (focused on objects, events, etc.) behavior. They try to neutralize these feelings by negatively valuing the opinions, possessions, goals of others.
Examples
Woman to an acquaintance who is moving to another place:
“that you want to go there, I would never want to live there”
Boy to friend who likes a certain girl (raising his voice):
“that girl?, that is the last thing I would like,
When asked why, they create their own story, for example:
Woman: ,A lot of migrants live there, you are not safe on the street there, as you recently heard that…,
Boy: ,she has already been with Johan and Mehmed and many more, that girl does it with everyone,
Black and white talkers are programmed
Black and white talkers are programmed in such a way by their genes, upbringing, environment, the media, etc. that they automatically react this way. They often react immediately (impulsively) . After they say it, they justify their black-and-white statement afterwards with their own story . They base this partly on facts and partly on their own often invented additions to create a logical story.
Well-spoken black-and-white talkers such as gurus, clergymen and managers master this well. They can create a story that appears credible, using scriptures (Bible, Quran) or research results. They often come across as know-it-alls. The more often the black-and-white talker
repeats his own story/opinion , the more credible it seems. Politicians also have a hand in this, especially when they find themselves in a stressful situation where they are asked about sensitive topics. Trump, for example, does not hesitate to put together his own story and invent facts or place them in a different context. Proven facts are dismissed as fake (nonsense).
Change black and white talk?
Changing black and white talk is not easy. Often the programming is already too strong, especially in young children. People with an impulsive nature find it difficult to control. People often blurt out something that they later regret. Apologizing afterwards is advisable, but often the message has already hit the other person hard.
That talking and thinking in nuances has to do with age is evident in young people (teenagers, adolescents). 2 They often still think and talk about world problems in black and white. Their thinking and abstraction skills are not yet well developed. They have a naive idealism with little room for nuances. They often solve world problems very simply. In search of their identity, they appear to be receptive to the black-and-white ideas of others. 3 It can lead to radicalization .
Education will have to focus on cases where different points of view emerge and are analyzed with arguments .
In old age, the person’s braking ability may have developed to the point where behavior is controlled. It is strongly related to the development of thinking and braking ability , which is located in the front of the brain (the area of the prefrontal cortex). The feelings are often still there, but people do not express them or know how to disguise them in such a way that others are not damaged.
Insight into how black-and-white talking and thinking works is a prerequisite for tackling it. Through contact with people who think differently, through study and the media, one can gain different insights and try to keep control over feelings that have been instilled in them from an early age. A good relationship (husband, partner) can help to correct and prevent black-and-white talk if possible.
In summary
Black-and-white talking mainly occurs in people with certain personality traits, such as anxious, impulsive and stress-sensitive people. Genes, brain chemicals and environment (upbringing) have a major influence on black-and-white talking. From an early age, people can be programmed to think and talk in black and white. It’s not easy to get rid of this. Black and white talkers can react quite impulsively. The stronger the development of the thinking and braking ability (which is located at the front of the brain, the prefrontal cortex), the more likely it is to control black-and-white talking.