Teenagers who hang around on the couch all day, doing nothing and not performing at school? We all know them. What do you do with a teenager who is completely unmotivated? In terms of education, they are slowly sliding to well below their level and still nothing rings a bell. As a parent you watch helplessly.
Overseeing actions
Many teenagers are unable to foresee the long-term consequences of their behavior. You can point it out to them, but it doesn’t affect them. It’s a far cry from all of them. They cannot be interested in things that lie far in the future. Six months is a long time in the future for some teenagers. Their sense of reality is often lost. They postpone problems to the future and think that they will solve themselves. When the moment comes that they can no longer postpone the problems, they panic. As a parent, it is useful to remember that teenagers cannot plan and do not yet foresee the consequences of their actions. Their brains simply haven’t matured that far yet.
Reward system
It sounds very childish, but when a teenager is completely unmotivated, it is best to promise rewards. No more pocket money, but a certain amount for every number higher than a six. If you fail, spend less time on your mobile phone and computer until the grades are back to an acceptable level. These are direct consequences of their actions and they will see this, although they will certainly find it childish.
Teenagers are children
Teenagers are still just kids, even if they don’t think so. They can sometimes be so wise, but they still need a lot of guidance and guidance. Sometimes this goes well, but more often it results in angry teenagers who speak loudly and throw doors. Teenagers can also react hysterically. Disinterest can also be an expression of insecurity or fear. Try to keep talking about it with your ten, no matter how difficult this often is. At the end of a conversation, always mention what was agreed.
Talking to an unmotivated teenager
- When talking to your teen, try to avoid words such as must and demand. This makes the hairs stand on end for most teenagers.
- Let the teenager describe what motivates him. Ask for their opinions and wishes.
- Give tips and feedback, but try to let them solve their problems themselves to some extent. Only in this way will they gain self-confidence and perhaps more interest.
- If possible, try to make a link between what the teenager needs to learn and everyday life. This makes it easier for the teenager to take some interest in it.
When nothing helps
Sometimes teenagers cannot be motivated at all. Whatever reward measures you come up with, they simply don’t want it. In these cases, it’s best to eventually just let them go. They will probably suffer quite a few blows before it finally becomes clear that there is some perseverance and work ethic in them, or perhaps not. It certainly improves the atmosphere in the house, but as a parent you will regularly have to grit your teeth. Sometimes such an unmotivated teenager also becomes an unmotivated adult, who thinks it’s all fine. This is simply a character trait over which you as parents unfortunately have no influence at all.