A third of all marriages end in divorce according to Statistics Netherlands. In the Netherlands, a total of 32,768 divorces were registered in 2017. Children were involved in 18,178 of these divorces (CBS, 2018), and in 35% the parents had problems surrounding the children that they could not solve independently. It is common knowledge that a divorce can have a major impact on the lives of both parents and the children. In addition to the psychological consequences that a divorce can have, a lot needs to be arranged. A study by Feunekes (2010) showed that it is often forgotten that when parents divorce, it is the children who suffer the most. For this group of children who suffer from the (upcoming) divorce of their parents, there are a number of programs and/or interventions available that provide help during this difficult period.
Seven interventions for children in divorce situations
In the Netherlands, there are seven interventions available for minor children in divorce situations. These interventions are classified as well substantiated. This means that the interventions are included in the Database of Effective Youth Interventions of the Netherlands Youth Institute (NJI).
- CHOOSE
- Basic program CHOOSE
- CHOOSE ME!
- CHOOSE-Interaction Guidance
- The Children Join the Separation: Methodology of the Sand Castle Program
- OKEE guidance process
- !JES the bridge project
- Young Heroes Chameleon Program
CHOOSE
KIES, abbreviation for Children In A Divorce, offers help and guidance to children, young people and adults. KIES focuses on giving attention and a voice to children in the event of divorce. The Netherlands Youth Institute has included three KIES interventions in the Effective Youth Interventions Database.
Basic program CHOOSE
The KIES basic program is for children and young people between 4 and 18 years old of divorced parents. They explore their own situation in groups. This creates space to learn from each other and they learn how to better deal with the consequences of the divorce.
The aim of this program is to use working methods and tips to better understand your own situation and to gain more control over your own feelings and behavior. In addition, work can be done on learning to communicate better with parents and dealing with loyalty.
CHOOSE ME!
CHOOSE ME! is individual guidance or in a small peer group for children and young people between 4 and 18 years old as a supplement to the basic program. Additional support can be provided where the basic program has not yet provided sufficient results.
The goals of this program include insight into one’s own emotions and behavior, increasing self-confidence and learning problem-solving skills. The topics discussed during this program are the impact of the divorce, communication skills, feelings, problems and conflicts. These topics are discussed during certain working methods such as setting clear goals, learning problem-solving skills and relaxing techniques.
CHOOSE-Interaction Guidance
KIES-Conversation Guidance is a guidance program for 4 to 18 year olds and their divorced parents. During this program, contact arrangements and the parenting plan are discussed. Children are given the opportunity to ask their questions, as well as share their concerns and emotions. This program gives children a voice in drawing up visitation arrangements and the parenting plan. They can also share their emotions in a peer group.
The purpose of access guidance is to give children a voice in establishing access arrangements. It can provide children with a safe place to share their emotions surrounding the divorce.
The Children Join the Separation: Methodology of the Sand Castle Program
Group program for children and young people between 6 and 17 years old and divorced parents. The Sand Castles program is a preventive and accessible program consisting of creative working methods. It offers support both during and after the divorce. The parents of the children and young people are involved in the program to improve and/or strengthen communication between parent and child.
The aim of this program is to help children and young people better understand what is happening and how they can deal with the divorce.
OKEE guidance process
The OKEE guidance process is a guidance process in which active participation is expected from children and young people as well as parents. Because the program is followed in groups, the children notice that they are not the only ones who have to deal with these feelings. During meetings, children can experience support and recognition from each other. Parents receive information about the consequences of the divorce. Attention is also paid to the parenting plan and the relationship that the children have with the parents.
The purpose of this process is to prevent and discuss social-emotional and behavioral problems in children that (may) arise from the divorce.
!JES the bridge project
!JES the bridge project is a preventive course for children aged 8 to 12 years old of divorced parents. By following this training, children learn to deal with the consequences of a divorce so that emotional and/or behavioral problems can be prevented. The parents are also involved in the intervention. Children and parents receive information and learn skills that they need in the situation created by the divorce. In this way we learn to shape the new situation together.
Children who participate in the course meet seven times in a group of six to eight children. During these group meetings they learn to deal with their feelings and learn skills to express what they find important. The work is both playful and practical. The metaphor of the bridge runs like a common thread through the program. This bridge symbolizes the connection between father and mother’s house, with the children working to build the bridge.
For parents, the course consists of three group meetings that run parallel to the training for the children. They receive information about the consequences and about parenting and raising children after the divorce.
The aim of the course is to learn to deal with the consequences of the divorce and to prevent and/or reduce emotional and/or behavioral problems that may arise as a result of the divorce.
Young Heroes Chameleon Program
The Young Helderen Chameleon Program is a peer program for children aged 8 to 12 years old of divorced parents. It is a program offered at primary schools in which parents are closely involved.
Through play and creative working methods, children work on all the feelings and events related to the divorce. Each program is tailor-made and tailored to the group in question by two experienced coaches . The children go through the program at their own pace and in their own way and can find support and recognition from other children.
The aim of the program is to find support and recognition from other children in the group and to prevent and/or limit social-emotional and behavioral problems that a divorce can cause.
Other help for children of divorced parents
In addition to the interventions available, there are also various resources available for 9 to 12 year old children in divorce situations. For example, websites, platforms, books and games have been developed to support children during and after the divorce of both parents. Online, these children can use the website and services of Villa Pinedo, Platform KEES and Stichting Kinder- en Jongerenrechtswinkel. Various books are available offline, but the 3 House Game was also specially developed for children who have to deal with divorce. Finally, a separation bag has been designed for children from 6 to 14 years old. This bag contains a book, an emotional game, emotional card, building plate, diary and a cuddly toy.