Not having a partner and being single for a long time is torment for many. Others are in a relationship and you are not. People often look at couples with envy and also want to have a nice, cozy relationship. In some cases, the inability to have, find or maintain a relationship is caused by upbringing or a serious life event. What influence can this have on the single person and what could be the culprits?
Single because of your upbringing
- Your parents’ inheritance
- Parents can make or break a child
- Gaining life experiences, young and old
- Understanding your own circumstance
- Learning from previous relationships or contacts
- Don’t want a top relationship
- Get started step by step
- Help from a behavioral expert
Your parents’ inheritance
No matter how you look at it, you are the end product of your parents’ efforts. On the one hand you get good physical and mental qualities through your genes and on the other hand you are raised in a certain way. The physical properties of your body determine to a certain extent how attractive you are, but a good brain is also extremely important. You are also taught social manners through education. Your parents also had an upbringing and that may not have been entirely to your liking. In response, your parents will have devised a certain method of raising children. Your parents may have always reacted sternly, they may have put pressure on you as a child, but it may also have meant a free upbringing. Several types of education have their caveats. It translates to how you will behave as an adult if you end up in a relationship.
Parents can make or break a child
One parent is not the same as the other. From the moment you are born, your upbringing has a huge influence on how you are and react. If you have an open personality, it is often because you had an open, free upbringing. Individuals who are shy, quiet, or withdrawn may have been severely influenced by the yoke of their parents. There is also a chance that this group will also be bullied additionally by classmates. How you approach life is largely determined by your parents. In addition, certain incidents can also have an impact on life.
Gaining life experiences, young and old
Children but also adults can have traumatic experiences. The death of a parent, being deployed in the army (veteran’s disease, post-traumatic stress syndrome), seeing an accident or something you should not have seen shapes how the train of thought will develop in the future. The younger you are and/or the more shocking the incident, the more it will have an impact on the rest of your life. A young child who has something terrible happen to him can have major consequences until a later age. It is therefore important to recognize that circumstance and give it a place. Without proper processing, that person may behave strangely, make undesirable demands on a relationship, be psychotic and the like.
Understanding your own circumstance
To gain control over your own circumstances, you must know what cloth you are made of. Why do you react the way you do? There is a pattern in your own behavior, which may have been learned in your youth or through experience. You may also have processed experiences in a certain way, which may cause you to respond less well to a partner. So the former feelings have been given a wrong place because you buried them deeply as a child. How your parents shaped you is certainly also important. It is, as it were, the first calling card when you meet a suitable person. Kindness, providing security and being attentive is what many ask for. The realization that you grew up in a certain way or that you have had a certain experience that causes you to react this way now can cause you to view life differently. By giving that experience its proper place and processing it, a future relationship has a better chance of success.
Learning from previous relationships or contacts
If you have left an old relationship, it is time to process it properly. Give yourself time to put the positive and negative aspects of that relationship in the right place so that you can learn from them. In addition, the question is why you reacted in a certain way in your previous relationship. Unprocessed, deep-rooted feelings can express themselves as unwanted behavior. It manifests itself in arguments, misunderstandings, not understanding each other, hitting, taunting, as a result of which the previous relationship never went well. The question then is where does this behavior come from? Think about why you responded in a certain way that ended that relationship. It may be deeper than just the circumstance at the time. Learn from your mistakes so that you have a better chance of success in a new relationship.
Don’t want a top relationship
Taking a pause by being realistic can ensure that the tide turns. Knowing what happened allows you to process it. Your parents wanted you to grow up with the best intentions and you have to process that in the right way. Events also need to be processed properly for a relationship to run smoothly. It does not mean that you can immediately get into a great relationship and the spark does not have to jump immediately. You can work on a good relationship so that you can move forward together.
Get started step by step
Whether you have been in a relationship before or not, it is necessary that you proceed step by step. Never go too fast and make sure you get to know each other first. The first few dates are purely for introduction, so you can get to know each other a little better. This will be followed by dinners, a movie or concert, etc., so that you can explore each other’s preferences. If everything clicks well, the next step can be taken after a few weeks. Don’t rush and be alert to your own behavior. You now know how you can sometimes react and you should always be aware of that. In the long term, you may also have to be honest with your new partner and explain why you sometimes react in a certain way. Openness and honesty are often what achieve the most.
Help from a behavioral expert
If you believe that you have experienced things in the past that have not been processed properly, visit a behavioral expert. Talking about your fears, feelings, your parents or events can help you find a good place. In addition, it forms a good basis for further embroidery. You can also get useful tips this way on how you can deal with your partner and relationship in a good constructive way.
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