Where one person says it is not necessary, the other will have a good reason to let a secret remain a secret. Sometimes inherited from childhood, for example, but it can also be a secret that has grown over the years and there seems to be no way back. Yet another kind of secret can be about a secret that is not justified according to our laws.
The secret doesn’t matter
It is hardly relevant for the personal effect, the mental pain, what the secret is. Only secrets that put pressure on one’s own identity are experienced differently.
However, if it concerns a secret where someone close to you has concealed something, has been downright unfair or even worse, the pain can be more severe. Especially when it concerns someone you love, with whom you have spent your entire life, etc. The bond that has been created over time, a bond that evokes love or security, can simply be destroyed the moment a secret comes out that has been concealed all these years. Of course, explanations can add nuance, but the feeling of being betrayed often dominates.
Another aspect that sometimes surfaces is a feeling of no longer being able or daring to trust yourself, because someone was/is apparently different than you thought. Your natural sensor of whether someone is reliable will work differently from that moment on.
Lie
The fact that someone, by telling a lie, may have pretended to be something other than he/she is, is also experienced as reprehensible by most people. The fact that there may be good intentions does not always nuance people’s judgments. This aspect also aggravates a possible secret.
The pressure of keeping a secret
If it is also a matter of a secret that the person in question must regard as secret, it can put a lot of pressure. Not everyone can withstand this pressure. For example, keeping a secret secret may be about protecting other people, but that does not remove the pressure of having to conceal something.
The pressure of keeping a secret that goes against our laws and regulations brings with it other issues. The secret can have legal consequences and can involve financial penalties, but also the deprivation of freedom. In addition to trust, other aspects also play a role here.
Weigh words
For the person who has to keep a secret, and for whatever reason, he/she should always put the words on a scale and be alert about what you say to whom. It is not possible to assume trust, because on the one hand you do not know whether someone will keep what he/she hears to themselves and on the other hand whether you can saddle someone with a secret. In addition, in legal matters there is also a possible role of complicity and humanly you don’t burden anyone with that.
Stain on the soul
Vasiant, a psychologist in the middle of the last century, has looked at secrets in different ways, talked to people who carry a secret with them and people who have had to deal with secrets (that come out).
He established that at moments that could not be logically traced back to the secret, an aspect surrounding this secret would surface. Directly or indirectly, but in any case it did link to the secret in question. He stated that a secret is a kind of stain on the soul that is there and can no longer be removed. You can make it fade through psychotherapy or other types of therapy, but it never goes away completely. You have to learn to live with it.
Physically
Naturopathy is based on body and mind as a whole and that what is not good mentally can express itself physically. Which, in the event of pressure from having a secret, could mean that you are or could be physically bothered by keeping the secret.
While one person indicates that it never hurts to go to a natural healer, the other indicates that if you do not really believe, the well-known therapies will not work either. You have to make that decision yourself.
Finally
Few people find knowing a secret exciting. Some people are more busy than others, but generally no one is looking forward to it. Excludes those who want to benefit (financially) from it.
Yet we live our lives with big or small secrets and it has become part of life. As long as it does not put the pressure that leads to (mental) pain, most people can still find their way.