Facebook, the well-known, oh-so-useful and fun social media tool to keep those around you informed about your ups and downs. However, it can also lead to disagreements, arguments, and even murder. There have been 4 cases of murder in England in recent years, all caused by simply changing their marital status to single. In England, 4 women have died in recent years, all due to changing just one word: status ‘relationship’ to ‘single’. This seemingly simple adjustment drove their husbands to murder their wives. Yet the cause of these murders is not directly attributed to the medium of Facebook.
Contents:
- Unequal relationships
- Turning point
- Reinforcing factors
- Experts advise: caution advised
- Not a new type of crime
- Powerful social tool
Unequal relationships
The similarities of the relationships provide insight into the situation. The relationships between the man and the woman were not equal. One of the couples started a relationship at a very young age: the woman was only 13 years old, the man was 18 at the time. Becoming pregnant at the age of 16, the woman ends up in the situation where the man increasingly makes the decisions. What’s worse is that, as she makes more social contacts on the Internet and at work, he becomes increasingly jealous. This also increases his violence. The laptop has to pay the price if she has too much of a social life on it for his liking, then he kills her himself. When the relationship ends many years later and the woman changes her Facebook status to single, the man strikes out. He kills her.
Another woman has a similarly unequal relationship. Here too, the man determines the most important matters in the house. This husband also destroys her laptop when she maintains too intensive contacts there via social media for his liking . She writes on Facebook that she wants to leave him. The woman starts an affair with another man, after which her own husband kills her. In this case, he then kills himself and also dies.
In the case of a third couple, drugs and alcohol are also involved. The woman ends the relationship and she also changes the Facebook status. Stoned and drunk, the man kills his ex-wife.
Turning point
Crucial in these situations is the moment when the person committing the murder breaks through. There is always a turning point, a moment when this person takes action. Changing Facebook status is that moment. The status may or may not be visible to the entire outside world, or only to acquaintances. The status is clear and leaves no room for nuanced comments such as ‘we have been separated for a while but are going to try again’. It is stated plainly: single. The man cannot ignore it and has to learn to deal with it. But that doesn’t always work. Losing face or a sense of failure is also a factor.
Reinforcing factors
Facebook status is a factor that contributed to the decision to kill in these cases. However, there were much stronger factors at play. First, there was domestic violence during the relationship. There was also a psychological element: the man had difficulty with the woman in social contacts and tried to limit this behavior. He tried to keep the woman’s self-confidence down because that made him feel better about himself. He preferred to keep his wife under his thumb. The woman, on the other hand, could no longer live with a dominant man and looked for a way out.
Experts advise: caution advised
Experts advise to approach leaving a man with caution. Definitely do not post the new status on Facebook before the relationship has really ended and you also live separately. Better yet, don’t mention your status at all. Why would you do that? Dating partners are better found in everyday life than this way. A complete stranger who sees that you are single may one day knock on your door, knowing that you live alone (after all, you are single). Nowadays, an address with a name can be found quickly.
Not a new type of crime
Even though the Facebook status in these cases was a certain reason to commit the murder, experts point out that Facebook or other social media do not produce a new type of criminals. They are old, known behavioral patterns that are provoked by a new substance. The perpetrator often feels humiliated by the written harsh reality. Even one of the relatives did not blame Facebook for her daughter’s murder.
Powerful social tool
Relationship problems are timeless. Facebook is nothing more than a social tool, but a powerful one. A door to the outside world is wide open, with all that entails. It is advisable to deal with this thoughtfully.