Conflict management

Everyone has a conflict sometimes. A conflict is a situation in which two parties have opposing interests or views. There are different types of conflicts: instrumental conflicts, conflicts of interest and personal and relational conflicts. Conflict management is a skill, the opposite of conflict avoidance.

Conflict can strengthen your relationship

Conflict management is at odds with conflict avoidance. Conflicts are sometimes necessary to initiate new developments. If you seek constructive solutions, you will improve your relationships. Conflicts can have several functions:

Constructive: achieving goals
Ventilation: expressing feelings
Signalling
Image formation: changing negative image
Self-reinforcement: you want to prove yourself
Displacement of aggression: the conflict is a means of taking out anger or aggression.

Types of conflict

There are four types of conflicts: instrumental conflicts, conflicts of interest and personal and relational conflicts. They have a different content and solution.

Instrumental conflicts

Instrumental conflicts concern objectives, means, procedures and structures, i.e. how something should be tackled. You can tackle it with problem solving: relevant and testable facts and logic.

Conflicts of interest

Conflicts of interest concern the distribution of scarce resources, such as time, money, energy and space. You can solve them with negotiation.

Personal conflicts

Personal conflicts revolve around issues of identity and self-image.

Relational conflicts

Relational conflicts are about (lack of) loyalty, betrayed friendship, etc. You can resolve these conflicts by discussing your feelings.

The emergence of conflicts

Conflicts arise because people see their interpretation of reality as reality. Secondly, conflicts arise when you make a distinction in identity between parties and groups.