Everyone is shy sometimes. Some people are only a little bit and only on very special occasions, other people are always and everywhere. And that’s terrible. You wonder where that shyness comes from.
Upbringing
It may partly be due to your upbringing. As a small child, on the one hand you are very protected by your parents against all kinds of dangers that you hardly see or understand yourself. On the other hand, your parents get angry when you do things they don’t like. As a child living at home, you live in a constant state of vigilance. You keep wondering if you are doing it right. Or how your parents will react if you do something new. Finally, you become afraid to do something new. Because it must be wrong. No matter how tolerant parents can be, they will always forbid you to do things as a child and they will always look out for you. So as children we inherited some of that cultivated shyness from them.
Self confidence
It is therefore important, now that the child is out of the wings of the parents, to develop more self-confidence, because that is what life is mainly about. Self-confidence is usually synonymous with being successful in life. A shy person often thinks that he is nothing special, can’t do anything and doesn’t look particularly attractive. Unconsciously, the shy person is constantly busy with this. So busy that he forgets to bother with the people around him. Those other people would really like that shy person if he or she just said something to them. It’s easier said than done to build self-confidence. Yet the shy person will have to start with himself to break that vicious circle.
Tips
Here are some useful tips to overcome your shyness:
- A good start is to make a list of your good points and read it every day.
- Then make a list of your bad points and either improve them or forget them. After all, no one is perfect.
- There is probably something that you are very good at or that you are very interested in. Go do that and preferably do more of those things at the same time.
- There is no one in the world like you. You are unique and therefore very special!
- No person is better than another. So other people are no better than you!
- You may think that everyone is always looking out for you. Wrong! Most people, just like you, are far too busy paying attention to themselves.
- Start delving into other people. Ask them about their hobbies, take an interest in their interests, their concerns, their pleasures. They will like that and you will too.
- Talk to people. Don’t wait for someone else to start. Say the first thing yourself and smile. Consider it an exercise and do the best you can.
- If a man or woman is interested in you, don’t think: ,He/she is making fun of me, I’m not that nice!, Of course you’re nice, why not?
- Finally, write this list down on a large piece of paper and hang it in a place where you will see it often. This way you don’t get a chance to forget it.