One hears it regularly; After having a baby, the relationship between husband and wife changes. Unfortunately, it appears difficult for couples to deal with the new family situation. As a result, a period that should actually be filled with joy quickly turns into a situation of stress and tension. Don’t let it get to this point! The arrival of a first child brings great joy. The parents gain someone to love and care for. They also receive a lot of love from their child in return. However, having and raising a child is no small feat. The baby will not only laugh, but also cry and scream. It is a challenge for parents to deal with the baby’s emotions and understand his or her cries for attention.
A whole new situation
The home situation changes drastically due to the birth of the child. The baby will determine the rhythm of his or her parents. Social life will also be affected by this. People can no longer just leave the house. The couple has to carry a lot of responsibility all the time. Not everyone can deal with this equally well.
Not only the things you do, even the topics you talk about will change. It is sometimes difficult to get back on track now that life is becoming a lot more serious. It often happens that the mother and father think differently about parenthood and about what is and is not possible. Both sides will have to give something in order to be able to move forward together in a positive way.
Working on maintaining/rebuilding a good relationship
As written above, you will have to find a new balance now that the family no longer consists of two, but of three members. Several simple things can help you grow closer again.
Spend time together Even now that there are three of you, it is important to spend some time with the two of you. Try to enjoy the little moments together (e.g., when the baby is sleeping) as you would have done before. Also try to do something fun together every week. This way you can forget about the serious matters for a while and do something that you both enjoy.
Plan things together that you can do with the whole family
Don’t get stuck in the idea that you are stuck with a child. A baby is an enrichment in your life, show him or her the world! Therefore, plan fun days out or a short vacation . Do this together to enjoy something in advance and to prevent the other person from having to come along against their will.
Talk about money
Insecurities also affect mood negatively. List your income and expenses together to see whether you can make it or whether you will still have to budget. If you have everything clearly laid out, everything often turns out not to be too bad!
Say what you want
In most cases, your partner cannot read your mind. It’s very frustrating when you’re constantly trying to do your best for your partner, but nothing you do seems to be any good.
Share your feelings with each other
Within family life, everyone often has their own function. It may well be that this division of labor seems fine to one partner, while the other feels deprived or is otherwise uncomfortable with it. By taking a gloomy attitude because of your dissatisfaction, you often do not make things better. At most, you ruin the atmosphere in the house and your partner doesn’t understand why. Tell what is bothering you, there is a good chance that your partner will understand your feelings. You can then work together on a new balance, so that you grow closer together again. Preferably divide the tasks in advance. Do this together.
Share your wishes and dreams with your partner
Sharing your wishes not only allows the other person to do their best to accommodate you, it can also strengthen your bond if it turns out that you dream about the same things.
Keep in mind
- A child learns from you. From now on you have an exemplary role, how you interact with each other will largely determine how your child will behave in a future relationship.
- Be as honest and open with each other as possible, it will really benefit your relationship!
- Be consistent with your rules. This creates clarity for you, but also for the child. However, remain flexible. You have to be able to adapt if your partner really cannot find his/her place in the new situation.