Merry Christmas? We all want it. Yet Christmas is a real battlefield for many. Family members in particular can often relate after such a ‘fun’ family Christmas. Old arguments are stirred up, new feuds are started, and disappointments are sown. Or else you are left with the unsatisfied feeling that you simply expected more from it. How do you avoid disappointment and create beautiful Christmas memories? By knowing the ‘psychology of the Christmas season’, and applying some tips and tricks. When it comes to the Christmas season, people rarely stand neutral and uninterested on the sidelines. One person gets (Christmas) lights in their eyes. The other shows unwillingness or outright disgust. Ditto for our memories. Christmas memories in particular are often loaded with great longing or aversion, happiness or utter misery. How did that happen?
The family trap
Christmas has traditionally been a family celebration, with or without loved ones. There’s the rub. Whoever we have become in our lives, within our family we remain partly who we always were. Even the most successful career woman can feel like a small and awkward girl in the family circle… just like in the past. And because we fall back into a kind of mysterious fixed behavioral pattern within family frameworks, even pain points that seemed long forgotten come to the surface all too easily.
Orlando Bloom’s favorite Christmas memory
,… My parents gave me a go-kart when I was little. I remember being so happy with it! Since then I have always had a love for bicycles and cars.,
(Source: P&G Prestige / Hugo Boss Orange Man press release)
Who am I?
What can you do to avoid problems as best as possible and have a merry Christmas with family or friends? It is important to consider in advance how you will celebrate your Christmas. What history do you share with these people? If you put aside the ideal image of a pleasant, harmonious Christmas, what is the reality that you are used to in the relationship with these family members or loved ones? Especially for family, this realistic adjustment of expectations can be a golden tip. The rule of thumb is: what was will blend into what is. Yes, you are an individual. But you are also part of a family blueprint for the rest of your life. As psychology nicely puts it: you come from a system. Stepping back into contact with people from that system – especially with long-term exposure such as is common at Christmas – puts that system back into operation. Just being aware of that creates space. But it is at least as important to actively and consciously use that realistic vision. Stay close to yourself, don’t get caught up in the sticky matter of bubbling displeasure or irritation for whatever reason. If necessary, subtly limit contact with people you don’t really like. Entire tribes of people regularly take a long walk with their dog at Christmas… and no one else! Also, and above all, limit your expectations. Consciousness and autonomous functioning within the whole, that is what it is all about.
Sienna Miller’s favorite Christmas memory
,My most special Christmas was on the beach in Mexico, three days before my 21st birthday. With my whole family!,
( Source: press information P&G Prestige/Hugo Boss Orange Woman)
Peace on earth?
Another point is the big, shiny ideal that we know from the media. The happy family out during the Christmas holidays, the blushingly happy group of friends around the Christmas tree, you name it. Because social images always influence you unnoticed, you also carry this image with you to a greater or lesser extent. And we also really want to have that wonderful Christmas time! Precisely by setting the bar so high, you single-handedly create the foundation for dissatisfaction, for disappointed expectations. Before you know it, you’re back in a corner, frustrated, tearing the Christmas wreaths out of the tree out of dissatisfaction… you had imagined it so differently! It is not only reality that is the stumbling block… but especially the wish list in advance!
…Ryan Reynolds’ favorite Christmas memory
,The best Christmas present I have ever received is a framed photo of me and my three older brothers. The photo was taken when I was a baby. We were arranged from oldest to youngest. We all wear those awful light blue suits, and that photo is kitsch as can be… but it is still one of my fondest memories.,
Source: P&G Prestige / Boss Bottled press information
Small pleasures
The key to a pleasant Christmas season is openness to what is there, to who you are and to who is there. That, and a blank lineup. Forget expectations. Be open to small pleasures, and leave that grand ideal aside for a while. What we often remember from a good Christmas time is that one nice conversation in the kitchen with your aunt. Or that hour of harmony during Christmas dinner, when your sister or brother’s noisy children are lying quietly in bed… Or seeing a beautiful view of snow-covered trees during a walk. In short: it’s not even necessary to have a glorious Christmas. Anyone who opens themselves up to those modest moments of beauty, solidarity or peacefulness will always take away a beautiful memory from Christmas. The greater the expectation, the more likely that reality will be too small for you. The smaller your expectations, the more likely that reality will be ‘greater’.