It often starts in primary school, when you have your first “courtship”, which often involves playing with your boyfriend or girlfriend. But the older you get, the more serious your relationship and your view on it becomes. When you are an “adult”, for example from the age of 18, you often start to look more towards the future. Then you think you have found him or her, your ideal partner. You can already see your future together. One problem: Your parents don’t like him or her at all. Always try to find out first why your parents don’t think your partner is suitable. Talk to your parents. Do they think he or she is not good enough because he or she comes from a different background? From another culture? Are there major differences in education? There could be many reasons why your parents formed their opinions the way they did. Try to listen to them, are they right in some ways? Also tell them how you view it. Perhaps these are just benefits that your parents based their opinions on and you can refute them. Introduce your parents to your partner if this has not already happened, try to sit down together and get to know each other.
Love makes blind
They always say that love is blind. Your parents may see things that you don’t. Remember that no matter how angry or desperate you are with your parents, they often have your best interests at heart. They raised you and made you who you are. They often find it difficult to let go of their son or daughter, especially if they had hoped for a doctor as a son- or daughter-in-law, and you come home with someone from a different background and without training. This may be an extreme example, but this will be very difficult for them. Your parents want the best for you, a good future.
Have a conversation
If you are sure that you want to continue with this person, try to explain to your parents why you are so sure of your partner. Try not to blame your parents, but talk from yourself and from your feelings. This ensures that they do not have to feel attacked and can listen to you better. However, if all else fails, you can try writing a letter. It may sound strange, a letter to your parents, but by writing everything down you can carefully choose your words and say what you want without being interrupted. Your parents can read this carefully and read it again if necessary. There can be no discussions or arguments and everyone can think carefully about what he or she wants to say.
Making agreements and compromises
If you live at home, your parents often have a major influence on your life. If this is the case, try to make agreements and compromises. If your parents do not want you to spend any longer with your partner, you can, for example, agree that you will not take your partner home for a while, or that you will stay home a little more often. Be careful not to go too far in this. You will have to admit something, but so will your parents. Really try to stick to this and make sure that there are not too many arguments and discussions. This doesn’t make the situation any more pleasant for anyone.
And now?
Sometimes the situation has gotten so out of hand that you can no longer interact normally. If your parents forbid you to do something, they often just drive you away. However, always try to keep your wits about you. Your parents really don’t mean it as badly as you might think. If things are really no longer possible, you can discuss the possibilities of moving out of your home and living in a room, for example. This sometimes works better than if you continue to live at home and the arguments continue. However, never make hasty decisions and keep talking to each other. If you really want to go for your partner, don’t give up. But always keep in mind that your parents will always be there for you and want the best for you.