All day long we do nothing but communicate. We talk, chat, email, call, text, you name it. And don’t forget non-verbal communication. Our posture sometimes tells more than 1000 words. So why is it so difficult?
What is communication?
Communication is the production, exchange and meaning-making of messages between people, which takes place within a context of informational, relational and situational factors with the aim of influencing each other (Reinders 2002).
As the definition of communication shows, it is a broad concept. We use communication to influence the other, to clarify something, to understand each other.
Steps of communication
Communication consists of a number of steps:
- Coding information
- Sending the encrypted information
- Receiving encrypted information
- Decoding the received information
- Feedback from receiver to sender
An example:
- Speaking the same language is coding
- Someone asks: ‘Would you please report the guide?’: sending coded information
- The other hears the message: receiving coded information (ears are receiver)
- The other person understands the message: decoding the information received
- The guide is actually indicated: feedback from receiver to sender
Another example:
- Someone is typing an email: coding
- Send is clicked: sending encrypted information
- The email arrives in the recipient’s mailbox: receiving encrypted information
- The mail is read: decoding the received information
- The email is responded to: feedback is provided from recipient to sender
These five steps must be completed to complete the communication process. Disruptions can occur at any step. In the first example, the message cannot be received correctly because it is not heard or not understood. In the second example, the address cannot be entered correctly or the email cannot be opened.
Verbal and non-verbal communication
Communication takes place verbally (with spoken language) and non-verbally (with body language).
The vast majority of communication is non-verbal. We say more with our bodies than with our words. If these two do not correspond with each other, communication is disrupted. When someone says they are cheerful, but says this with slumped shoulders and quivering corners of their mouth, we don’t believe it. This shows that we get more information from body language than from spoken language. This means that we can communicate a lot with our hands and feet when we are abroad and do not speak the language. We all master body language.
What makes it difficult?
In our daily lives we communicate with other people. That often goes well, but just as often or even more often goes wrong. This mainly depends on how we interpret the other person’s message. We give meaning to the other person’s message. As soon as we hear the message, we give it a value judgment. If this corresponds to how the sender intended it, the communication is good. If this is not the case, it can lead to unpleasant situations full of misunderstanding. In addition, we are often unaware of the signals we send non-verbally.