Very nice news for you, a second child is on the way! You are completely in the clouds yourself. But suppose you already have a child, how exactly are you going to approach this? Or what if your child is just a year old and you don’t think he or she will understand it yet? Many people have to deal with this. You already have one baby and number two is on the way. Parents often do not know how to prepare their child for the arrival of a brother or sister. Below you will find all kinds of tips to get through this period well and to prepare your child well for the arrival of the baby and the period after birth.
Telling your child that there is a baby in your belly
Getting your child used to the arrival of a baby actually starts from day one. A pregnancy lasts 9 months, so there is time. As soon as you are sure that you are pregnant, tell your child that you will have a brother or sister and that your child will become a great example for the new baby. That in a while your child will no longer be mom and dad’s only child, but that the new baby will also live with you. Also mention that your child will play an important role for the new baby. Explain that the brother or sister is slowly growing in your belly and that you will soon have an increasingly fat belly and explain that that is the baby that is getting bigger.
The midwife
You will visit the midwife regularly in the coming months. Always take your child with you to every appointment you have. You often also have nice books in the waiting room that are about children who also have a brother or sister. There are also posters showing how a baby develops in the womb, so that your child can see a little about how it will be positioned in the womb.
Decorate room
Of course, in a few months you will need a place for the baby to sleep. This could be in your own room or perhaps in mom and dad’s room. In any case, involve your child in everything you have to buy for the baby. Let your child help you pick out clothes, prepare the nursery or let your child buy fun toys for the baby. This way your child starts to realize that his or her opinion also counts and that your child will not be put behind the new baby.
Always try to leave your child in his or her own room and give the baby another room. After all, a lot will change when the baby arrives, and some children are attached to their own bed and their own room. Too many changes can really upset your child.
Another bed
However, your child may be at the age where he or she needs a larger bed. Then explain to your child that his or her bed is for the baby. That your child is already very big and now needs a bigger bed. Take your child to the store and let them pick out as much as possible for themselves. If you already have a bed in mind, let your child choose their own duvet cover, for example. This gives your child the freedom to decide things for themselves and it will be less difficult to give up his or her bed to the new baby.
The growing belly
After a few months your belly will start to grow considerably. Expose your belly regularly and show your child that your belly is getting bigger because the baby is now growing well. Take a photo of the belly every month and put them side by side after a few months so that your child can clearly see the difference. If the baby starts kicking, let your child feel this. Do this very enthusiastically and say, for example, that the baby is kicking so hard because the baby is really excited to have a big brother or sister. This makes your child feel proud and it is often impossible to get them away from your belly. You can also sing a song to the baby together with your child or have your child tell a story to the baby. Make sure your child moves his/her stomach gently. Your child may become a little too wild out of enthusiasm, so be careful.
Stuff for the baby
If you are going to look for clothes or other items at some point, take your child with you and let him or her help decide. For example, if your child has selected a sweater, ask your belly whether the baby likes what the brother or sister has selected. And your child often develops a bond with the baby, especially if you use terms such as ‘You got this from your big brother, isn’t it nice?’ This may sound very strange, but this way your child can get used to the fact that you will also talk to the baby when the baby is born.
Look at other children
Walk with your child past a school or into town and pay attention to other parents with two children or more. Then show your child that other children also have brothers or sisters and that they also enjoy it very much. Children are often more likely to accept things from their peers than from adults, so your child can see that it is actually quite normal.
Don’t make false promises
Some things are better not said. When the baby is born, it is very normal for us to know that babies eat, poop and sleep and that a baby does not play at all. So never tell your child that as soon as the baby is born, your child can play with the baby and that they can play with the ball together, for example. As a result, it is actually only a disappointment for your child if it turns out afterwards that this is not possible at all when the baby has just been born.
It is better to say that once the baby is born, the baby must first grow bigger before the baby can start playing with your child. That babies still sleep a lot in the beginning and that they need a lot of sleep to grow bigger , so that the baby can play with your child later. Also say that even mom and dad can’t play with the baby yet, mom and dad also have to wait until the baby is bigger. Say that your child can help take care of the baby. Let your child help with changing clothes and diapers or preparing the bath.
The baby is born, now what?
Once the baby is born it really starts. You can now see how your child reacts to the baby. Involve your child in everything from the first day of birth. What is often a good idea is to give your child a small gift as soon as the baby is born. Say that the brother or sister brought a gift because the baby is very happy with his or her big brother or sister.
Also make sure that the maternity visit is not only concerned with the new baby, but that your child also receives sufficient attention. If the baby is sitting on your lap during the visit, ask if your child will also sit with you. This way, your child will immediately get the feeling of belonging from birth and you will ensure that your child does not suddenly feel left behind. Show your child that he or she still counts and that his or her role will become very important when the baby grows up.
Asking for attention
Explain to your child that he or she now also has to divide the attention. For example, if you are busy feeding your baby and your eldest child wants to draw with you, tell them that you first have to take care of the baby and that as soon as the baby goes back to bed, you will then make a nice drawing together with your child. will make.
Once a few weeks have passed and you have regained your strength after giving birth, take your eldest child away for an afternoon. Go to the playground sometime or feed the ducks together. At such times, leave your baby at home with a sitter, so that your eldest child can have you to himself. So much has changed for your child in those few weeks that taking a break together will be very good for you and your child.
Play together, share together
Once your baby is older, around six months old, he or she may start crawling and reaching for your older child’s toys. Keep both equal from the start. Tell your child and baby that they can play together, but not to take toys from each other. For example, if your eldest is playing with a cup and your baby takes it away, tell the baby not to take it away while the brother or sister is playing with it. This sounds very strange, but this way you show your eldest child that you should not take the baby away and that you keep both your children equal. Of course, the baby doesn’t understand what you say at first, but your eldest child will soon realize that the baby has the same rules. And your baby immediately learns what is and is not allowed, because no matter how small they are, they usually understand the word no quite quickly.
Always show your eldest child that he or she is the example and that your eldest child is already allowed more than the baby. Your eldest child can already have dessert , while the baby can only have milk. If your child is eating a cookie, tell the baby not to eat it yet because the baby is still very small and your child is already very big. Your child often quickly realizes that he or she is already allowed more than the baby and this usually makes your eldest child feel very big and important and, above all, very proud.