Your relationship is in a rut, you’re going more downhill than up. How should you deal with this? What can you improve in your relationship? Is it even due to the causes you had in mind? You live together in 1 house, if it doesn’t work out, stop! But don’t stop until you’ve done everything you can to improve the relationship.
Stop blaming each other!
Try to avoid constantly throwing blame at your partner. Always coming across as whiny isn’t exactly popular. Always the same things that come up again and again. Annoyances can pile up on both sides and a kind of time bomb is created that can go off at any moment. This way you can quickly lose your partner. Try to talk about it in a different way and let each other finish.
Get to know each other well
Ask an elderly couple how they manage to stay together all this time. Then you often get the answer that they know each other well, understand and respect each other. This is the basis of every relationship. A couple that knows each other’s history well and knows what they consider important about each other does better than others. This knowledge is of course updated over the years. He goes shopping and takes her favorite magazine with him or she buys a good CD that he likes. Knowing each other inside and out.
Respect each other
There must be respect on both sides. For example, accept that your partner also wants to influence decisions and that you make them together. Many relationships fail because there is too much resistance. Your partner then has the feeling of not being respected.
Stop arguing about useless things
Arguments always remain in every relationship. Unfortunately, approximately 80 percent of conflicts fall under the heading of repetitive. These issues keep recurring and cannot be resolved. When choosing your partner, you know that you also choose his/her imperfection. Don’t try to solve this, because you will never succeed. Try to find a way to deal with it so that this is no longer a problem. The most important thing is that you respect and accept each other. Every person has their own personality, you cannot ignore that.
Do more together
What you often see is that, as soon as people have children, they do more and more (if not everything) with the family. This is absolutely not wrong, but you have to take into account that you have to get to know each other again after 25 years, when the children have left home. Go do something with the two of us. An evening out for dinner, a movie, a weekend away or even a week on holiday. If you don’t have a babysitter or the financial resources don’t allow it, try to keep it small. Have a nice meal together in the evening (so all evening!) and make it a pleasant evening. Show that you are doing your best to make something of it.
Give each other real attention
Do you know that; your partner comes home from a hard day’s work and says a quick hello before he/she plops down on the couch and watches television. This happens more often than you think! Give each other attention, ask how your day was and empathize with her/his story. Support if there is a problem and do not avoid it. This way you still have a form of contact on a daily basis.
Explore each other’s boundaries
Set your own boundaries and explore those of others. Nobody is perfect and you should know that about each other. This is how you keep the relationship on track. At the beginning it’s more like falling in love and later you come closer to each other if you just let each other.
What works best in a good relationship;
- Try to show each other some form of appreciation every day.
- Make time for each other
- Make sure that you always know from your partner in the morning what he/she is going to do that day
- Kiss each other, hold each other and show affection
- Talk everything out and let each other finish
- Respect each other and pay attention to each other
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