Just as our bodies need food, our minds need satisfaction. We need things in our lives that make us happy, that give us satisfaction: an evening of partying with friends, a happy son or daughter, … A lack of food for the body leads to starvation. Likewise, a lack of satisfaction leads to starvation, but one of an emotional nature, which expresses itself in depression, emotional exhaustion, and unhappiness. You can consider this as the so-called depressed feeling. Each of us has come into contact with it at some point, albeit sometimes very briefly. For example, imagine the dejected feeling that comes over you on a day when everything goes wrong and your chances of fulfillment elude you. However, if this emotional satisfaction is not provided again and the person does not become happy again, such a period drags on and we speak of depression. But how can you recognize, combat and prevent depression?
- The essence
- Common underlying causes
- Deeper reasons: upbringing, society and physical characteristics
- What is the biology behind depression?
- Different feelings
- Preventing depression or relapse
- Interesting reading
The essence
Depression is characterized by a lack of emotional satisfaction. In other words, with depression your emotional energy remains at a low level. It is therefore not surprising that people in depression often feel and behave lethargic and show a lack of zest for life (see note). After all, the mind, just like the body, constantly needs energy. But how long this period of emotional deficit is so that we can speak of depression is not really known. Moreover, one depression can differ greatly from another in terms of severity, duration, causes and additional symptoms. Professor Trudy Dehue (2008) aptly describes depression as a collective term, just as skin diseases is the collective term for diseases of the skin, but of which there are many variants, including skin cancer and acne.
Resolving depression is, very simply put, regaining sufficient emotional satisfaction. But as simple as it is, it is often so difficult to travel that road. First of all, what brings a person emotional satisfaction often depends greatly on their personality. One likes to headbang at a rock festival, the other likes to paint nails. This also applies to the amount of satisfaction a person needs and how long he/she can go without it. In addition, one way to be happy carries more weight than the other. This ensures that if you cannot get emotional satisfaction from something that comes first for you, nothing else may be able to fill this gap, for example when nothing can make you happy if you can no longer be with the person you love. You can get satisfaction from different things in life and you can also experience a shortage from different things. Knowing what the specific causes of a lack of emotional satisfaction are in yourself can be a big step forward in tackling depression.
Common underlying causes
The causes behind a lack of emotional satisfaction can vary widely. There may also be several for one depression. The most common causes are briefly outlined here. Firstly, this can be a psychological trauma. If a particular incident, or series of incidents, makes you so sad or hurt, it may be temporarily difficult to obtain emotional satisfaction. The sadness, the pain, dominates your emotional state and positive emotions stay away. This can occur, for example, in the event of a serious disappointment, abuse or loss of a loved one.
Secondly, a person may have high demands that must be met in order to achieve emotional satisfaction. An important example of this is our contemporary high drive for performance. Achieving continuous success is often a norm in our current society. The strong belief that we are responsible for our own success and can therefore determine it sets the bar high for everyone to achieve it. This is described by Paul Verhaeghe (2009) as a strong belief in the malleability of humanity. At the same time, the illusion is sometimes created that being happy is only possible when one achieves success.
There may also be a lack of knowledge or uncertainty about what provides emotional satisfaction. Simply put, someone doesn’t know what makes him/her happy. This can be strongly associated with a lack of identity, in other words an identity crisis. This is an important reason today. Moreover, a lack of knowledge about what produces satisfaction cannot be immediately fulfilled, which means that an individual can easily fall into depression. As a result, teenagers and adolescents are often more vulnerable to depression due to their insecurity and search for identity.
There is also another important cause. Not daring to practice or obtain what makes one happy or gives satisfaction, for example because this conflicts with existing norms and values, can lead to depression. This is strikingly illustrated in the Flemish film SM-rechter. In this true story, according to my interpretation, the main character at first did not dare to do what would really give her satisfaction: SM.
The previous reasons include not obtaining emotional satisfaction. In addition to a lack of emotional satisfaction, there are other things in life that can create higher needs for emotional satisfaction. These can include things that actually make us unhappy but to which we still cling because they are necessary, imposed or are the norm, in short, the things we do in life against our will. A good example is doing work you don’t like. Someone who does a job that he does not like at all needs more relaxation and hobbies that make him happy. On the other hand, someone who does a job that makes him happy and therefore provides energy, may have less need for other hobbies and may even devote himself completely to his work. Another example is having a monogamous relationship, which is a norm in our Western society, while some may need multiple partners.
Deeper reasons: upbringing, society and physical characteristics
The causes mentioned above lead directly to an emotional deficit. But there are also indirect causes that give rise. In my opinion, depression also includes the following things as indirect causes: upbringing, society and physical characteristics, including heredity (see sensitive to depression). The ‘society’ factor has already been mentioned in connection with the high performance pressure in our society that leads to a greater chance of failure. However, these indirect causes are much less manipulable. Changing society or your physical characteristics is obviously difficult. You can blame these two things for your depression, but it will not help you move forward. Partial re-education is also not easy, but unfortunately sometimes necessary. For example, someone who was always blamed as a child cannot immediately help the fact that he/she has a negative self-image, can never do anything good in his own eyes and therefore does not get satisfaction. This change cannot happen overnight and takes time.
What is the biology behind depression?
The underlying metabolism in the body that would cause depression has not yet been determined. There are hypotheses but they have not been proven. One of the best-known stories is that of serotonin deficiency. This substance acts as a neurotransmitter in our brain and therefore transmits signals in the cell fluid between cells. A certain group of antidepressants (see Professional remedies), the Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs), prevent the reuptake of serotonin by cells from the cell fluid. This would result in more serotonin being present, which would promote signal transmission. The hypothesis was therefore formulated that depression is associated with a deficiency of serotonin. But it is not because the presence of certain substances has a mood-enhancing effect that it follows that the opposite occurs due to a deficiency of these substances in the brain (‘It is not because everything that flies has wings that everything with wings can fly’ An ostrich has wings but cannot fly). You may also wonder why other types of antidepressants are sold. One must conclude that the possible biological phenomena behind depression have not yet been unraveled (Dehue, 2008). I do not deny the fact that depression has underlying biological phenomena. But if we don’t know them it is also difficult to change them. Every new type of antidepressant, for example SSRIs, was discovered by chance.
Professional resources
As mentioned earlier, regaining sufficient emotional satisfaction is the key to resolving depression. Professional help can help you with this. The two best-known professional remedies for depression are: antidepressants and therapy. Antidepressants aim to create a feeling of emotional satisfaction/happiness. However, such pills do not solve the reasons for the deficiency. So they only remove the symptoms. Their emotional happiness-inducing effect (Prozac as an aspirin for the mind?!) is strongly questioned, and there are said to be many side effects. The following books elaborate on this in more detail: End of psychotherapy by Paul Verhaeghe (2009) and The depression epidemic by Trudy Dehue (2008). The latter authors, professors in the field of psychology, also discuss the profitable but also unethical practices that often lie behind the approval and propaganda of antidepressants.
Talk therapy, or psychotherapy, ideally involves looking for the causes of the emotional deficit that underlies the depression and finding a solution to regain emotional satisfaction. In addition, the knowledge obtained also leads to greater insight into how to prevent a new depression or relapse. Pills can’t teach you this. Unfortunately, psychotherapy is often a difficult (the causes can sometimes be deeply hidden or far in the past (Vansant, 2007)) and confrontational process and is sometimes unwisely avoided or stopped prematurely.
I consider psychotherapy to be the only good professional solution for depression . Antidepressants can possibly be taken as emotional boosters, but always in combination with psychotherapy.
Different feelings
Depression can trigger all kinds of negative emotions. It is therefore sometimes difficult to see the forest for the trees, or in other words to see the depression behind a collection of negative emotions. Here are briefly listed some important emotions and the link with the lack of emotional satisfaction.
Feeling emotionally hurt often comes hand in hand with feeling depressed. This is certainly the case if you have suffered a psychological trauma. Note the difference between the feeling of depression and a feeling of emotional hurt, which is the result of emotional damage, for example by someone who blames or abuses you. When someone passes away, the loss is painful, a form of emotional hurt and you may no longer be able to find satisfaction afterwards because the grief is too great or because the deceased person was responsible for it. If the lack of satisfaction continues, the person in question will fall into depression.
Frustration, hatred and anger, together with depressive feelings, can arise from a lack of emotional satisfaction. These other feelings can be directed against others (externalization) but also against themselves (internalization). You may be disappointed or angry with yourself because you cannot guarantee your emotional satisfaction. You can then start to hate yourself because of your own incompetence and, as a result, hurt yourself. For example, a person may get emotional satisfaction from putting on make-up and looking beautiful, and then begin to hate himself or herself when circumstances make him or her say he or she is ugly. Disappointment due to your own failure can also cause you to have low self-esteem and lose faith in yourself, which in turn lowers your faith in being able to achieve what you want. This in turn reduces your chances and efforts to achieve the next satisfaction and therefore you lose even more faith in yourself. This is how you end up in a downward spiral.
Restlessness and insomnia may also arise due to the incessant questions about where the depressed feeling comes from, when it will end and how to solve this problem. It is similar to an animal that is incessantly searching for food. People may not even be aware of these underlying questions and the search for an end to the depression. Feelings of powerlessness and despair can also occur when the depression continues for a long time.
A physically starved person suffers and eventually comes to an inevitable end. Emotional starvation can also lead to emotional damage and pain, but there is no end in sight. Unfortunately, some take their own lives when the pain becomes unbearable or when despair is nigh. Suicide is the worst consequence of depression.
Preventing depression or relapse
Depression is resolved by regaining emotional satisfaction. But will the satisfaction last? Specifically, a person may negate the reasons behind his/her lack of emotional satisfaction. In the example of the SM judge, this is giving in to the desire for and performing SM, which results in a continuous flow of satisfaction.
But since misfortune is always lurking around the corner, it is best that you can prevent depression. Just as the body can improve its resistance to diseases, stronger emotional resistance can help prevent depression. This resistance to depression manifests itself, among other things, in two important things: emotional resilience and the ability to put things into perspective. The former includes looking at life again with a positive outlook and seeking new emotional satisfaction. In sports, for example, this means going for it again after a defeat. It is putting the emotional deficit in the past and letting go (After all, you can’t change the past), looking ahead and looking for new satisfaction. Putting things into perspective helps to put the shortage in a different light and thus possibly minimize it. Putting things into perspective means looking back and putting things into perspective, which may limit the shortage. When faced with a defeat in sports, one may wonder: Was that defeat so bad?! Aren’t there more important things in life?
Prone to depression
It goes without saying that people who are not easily satisfied or are demanding have a greater chance of depression. People with a lack of initiative are also more susceptible, as satisfaction is then less in their own hands. People in difficult circumstances (poverty, disability, orphan, etc.) naturally also have a harder time finding happiness because they are already limited by those compelling circumstances. Also susceptible to depression are individuals who do not have sufficient methods to prevent depression: they have little emotional resilience or the ability to put things into perspective. Pessimism also makes you susceptible to depression. In addition, it can be more difficult for people who do not thrive in the current set of norms and values to achieve emotional satisfaction as they then have to work against them.
As for heredity, I believe that susceptibility to depression is partly hereditary. But a clear gene or group of genes for depression has not yet been discovered, as is the case for other mental disorders (V erhaeghe, 2009; 2012).
Interesting reading
The following books are recommended: The depression epidemic (Dehue, 2008), Everything is memory (Vansant, 2007), The end of psychotherapy (Verhaeghe, 2009) and Identity (Verhaeghe, 2012). I also recommend the following article: Depression: Not pessimism, but a lack of optimism.
Remark
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is an American manual for the diagnosis and statistics of mental disorders that is a standard work in psychiatric diagnosis in most countries. It describes that someone has a major depressive disorder when that person exhibits a depressed mood for two weeks, a lack of interest in daily activities or a lack of zest for life. However, the use of the DSM in practice is criticized by some (Dehue, 2008; Verhaeghe, 2009).