In the summer they attract everywhere: slender legs, muscular male arms, smiling faces and the sideways glances of your partner. With all these temptations, jealousy often rises faster than the temperatures. Fortunately, we are not helplessly at the mercy of it. Control your feelings and not your partner.
See jealousy as an opportunity
Jealousy is a signal that your desires are not being fulfilled, such as:
- desire for more security;
- increased self-esteem;
- desire for better communication;
- or towards a better emotional bond with your partner.
Give space to those desires. After all, what do you want to achieve with jealousy? Can you get it better in another way? Be creative, instead of constantly accusing the other person.
Make a conscious choice for your partner
Often behind jealousy lies the fear of committing yourself. Maybe you need more freedom yourself. Does your relationship offer that space? Do you perhaps envy your partner for something you don’t want for yourself? Therefore, make a conscious choice for your relationship. Insecurity is the ideal breeding ground for jealousy.
Respect and appreciate your partner
Anyone who always appreciates his partner through thick and thin can always remember his positive things in bad times. If that respect is lacking, you will automatically attribute wrong things to him if his behavior deviates from what you would like to see. Therefore, resolve to always respect and appreciate your partner, even if his behavior makes you insecure or nervous. This confirmation gives you inner peace.
Observe displays of affection
Jealous people are usually blind to small everyday signs of affection. In the past you would have been happy if he/she brought a gift, but nowadays you might wonder what he/she wants to hide with it? Therefore, always assume your partner’s best intentions and abandon all suspicion.
Love yourself
Jealousy usually involves a process of self-criticism. People are afraid of not being liked enough themselves. And the worse you react to a jealous fit of rage, the worse it becomes. Collect positive feedback from friends, colleagues or family members. If someone praises or compliments you, make a note of it in your journal. You will be amazed at how relaxing it is.
Don’t check on your partner incessantly
When you constantly spy on your partner, you can only lose:
- if you find something, you don’t want him/her anymore;
- If you don’t find anything, you keep looking and thus ruin your relationship.
Take your responsibility
In fits of jealousy, attention focuses entirely on your partner or another person. Turn that gaze around and look at yourself: do you feel worthless, powerless or ignored? What can you do about that yourself?
Has your partner already introduced the person he is talking to so charmingly? Go there, smile and greet the two. This way you can at least reconnect with your partner and perhaps realize how innocent the encounter is. You can sit there and mope or get active: the choice is yours!