Divorce is never easy, but it becomes even more complex when children are involved. Couples divorcing must consider how they will divide the care of the children. This can be done roughly in three ways.
Traditional manners
In traditional contact, the children live with a parent. In most cases this is the mother. This parent spends most of the time with the children and also takes care of the son(s) and/or daughter(s). A visitation arrangement is agreed with the other parent. In this case, for example, the child spends one weekend every two weeks with the other parent. The parent who takes care of the children most of the time can count on child support. In the traditional form of contact, both parents often have custody and they are both responsible for upbringing and for important decisions, such as choosing a school.
Advantages
The traditional manner of interaction ensures that the children have one home. This ensures a more structured life. The children do not have to drag things around and have their own permanent bedroom for most of their time. Friends are also nearby.
Cons
A disadvantage for both the child and the parent who does not care for the child most of the time is that there is less contact. As a result, the bond between parent and child can become less strong.
Co-parenting
Co-parenting is on the rise these days. This means that both parents take care of the children. For example, the children stay with the mother one week and with the father the next week. The parents can also agree that the children will stay with the mother from Monday to Wednesday and with the father from Thursday to Sunday, for example.
Advantages
The children spend equal time with both parents, so there is no threat of alienation. Because parents share care responsibilities, joint responsibility remains. The parents are also both involved in activities at school and sports clubs, among others.
Cons
Co-parenting also has disadvantages. The children have to find their feet in two houses. Moving every week can be annoying for children, because both old parents may have a different regime. In many cases, father and mother no longer get along well, but they are forced to see each other regularly. Parents must live near each other, because the children cannot go to different schools.
Alimony in case of co-parenting
It is a misconception to think that child support does not have to be paid during co-parenting. The highest-earning parent will still have to pay child support to the parent with a lower income. How much should be transferred to the other parent can be calculated with a capacity calculation.
Bird nesting
Another form of co-parenting is bird nesting. The children continue to live in the parental home and the parents lead an itinerant life. Half the week the mother takes care of the children in the house and the other half the father. If the parents do not take care of the children, they live elsewhere. In bird nesting, it is the parents who move every week.
Advantages
Children can continue to live in their familiar environment and do not have to go to another school. They also continue to see their friends. The children do not have to move to their other parent every week.
Cons
An important disadvantage of bird nesting is the high costs. Maintaining three homes is expensive. A so-called partner home can offer a solution, but most divorced parents do not want to have to share their home next to the parental home for the children. Housing costs are high with bird nesting. It can also be annoying for the parent to have to move every week.
Parenting plan
Parents are obliged to draw up a parenting plan during the divorce. In this plan, parents make agreements about the care and upbringing of the children. They report their agreements on paper about the division of care and upbringing tasks, the amount of child support, the choice of school, the maximum living distance from each other and the way in which the parents continue to communicate with each other about the children. Both parents must sign the plan before it can be submitted to the court.