Cheating is a common problem in relationships. It violates trust in a partner and the injured partner often experiences cheating as a traumatic event. A study by Mark, Jansen, & Milhausen, (2011) showed that from a group of 918 people, 23.2% of men and 19.2% of women indicated that they had ever cheated. Since this number is quite high, many wonder why people cheat. Is this due to the partners themselves or are there other situations that cause extramarital relationships? This report will therefore address the question: which factors influence the risk of cheating among men and women?
Contents
The answer to the question in the title may be relevant to many people. Research has shown that seeking out extramarital relationships is the primary cause of divorce. Research will be discussed that attempts to identify causes for cheating, and theories that attempt to explain cheating will be discussed. These can be divided into internal factors and external factors. By internal factors we mean, for example, the genes and personality that can control behavior from within. Four different approaches are discussed below. External factors include the living environment that can influence the risk of cheating, such as the work performed.
Internal factors
Since the last century, many studies have been conducted into the causes of cheating among men and women. These causes can be attributed, among other things, to processes that come from within the person himself, also known as the internal factors on which cheating depends. This includes certain personality traits of a person that can influence cheating.
Personality Factors: The Big Five
Men and women prefer to choose partners who are similar to themselves or have similar personality traits. This link with personality may explain cheating. Orzeck and Lung (2005) investigated how monogamous and cheating partners view themselves in terms of personality. The various questions that students completed were intended to reveal which factors of the Big Five they scored high or low on: Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Emotional Stability and Openness. The result was that there were actual personality differences between cheaters and non-cheaters. Cheating partners who score high on extraversion see themselves as social people and will cheat to avoid getting bored. People who score high on Openness and Neuroticism are also more likely to cheat, because they are open to new experiences and because they are not emotionally stable. The two most important factors are Agreeableness and Conscientiousness. People who have a low score on Agreeableness react with a lot of anger when relationship conflicts arise. Research by Glass and Wright (1988) has shown that this anger increases the risk of cheating among partners who score low on Agreeableness. Finally, partners who are not conscientious may have a harder time resisting temptation. A conscious process that can influence cheating is impulsivity. A study by Bravo and Lumpkin (2010) showed that men themselves indicated that the cheating was due to excessive drug and alcohol use. These substances can influence impulsivity and by taking impulsive actions a person can more quickly take the step of cheating. Finally, there is a process in which one partner has little empathy for the other partner: lack of empathy. People who have little empathy will feel less guilty about cheating. They are also less susceptible to external and internal inhibitions about cheating. Because a partner cares little about the feelings of the current partner, the risk of cheating will be higher.
Biological approach
Cheating can also be explained by biological theories, two of which will be discussed. This approach focuses on the biological aspects of a person, i.e. the physical symptoms that can influence cheating.
First, there is evidence that genes in the immune system can increase the risk of cheating. Research by Garver-Apgar et al. (2006) has shown that there is a significant difference in the degree of cheating among partners where many genes match and among couples where the genes are very different. People were found to be more likely to cheat when men and women have the same gene in a specific part of the immune system. The reason for this is probably that complications can occur during pregnancy if both parents have the same gene in the specific part of the immune system. A second biological factor is the 334 allele, which is located in the ventral pallidum (part of the brain) and occurs mainly in men. This allele is related to the commitment a man has with his partner. Walum (2008, as described in Tsapelas et al., 2010) conducted research on men who carried this allele. Men with two copies of allele 334 had the least sense of attachment in a relationship and were more likely to cheat. Men with one copy also appeared to be more likely to enter into extramarital relationships.
Evolutionary approach
Finally, Evolutionary theory is among the internal factors that cause cheating. Supporters of the evolutionary approach are inspired by the theories of Darwin (1871). This approach looks back to the early years of man.
There are different types of attachment styles that can lead to extramarital relationships being sought out or not. Children form an attachment style at a young age by the way parents respond to a child’s feelings. These attachment styles continue as a person ages, for example an insecure attachment style can lead to extramarital relationships. People with this attachment style quickly have a fear of commitment, will have short-lived relationships and are more tolerant of cheating. Secondly, people may have an anxious attachment style, where individuals quickly feel neglected in a relationship. These people are more likely to look for an extramarital relationship because they have a great desire for attention and closeness.
External factors
In addition to internal factors, there are a number of external factors on which cheating depends. These are not determined by our inner self, but by our environment. For example, the relative difference in level of education between two partners plays an important role. It is not about the training itself, but how it compares to the partner’s training. When the man has a higher education than the woman, the woman is more likely to remain faithful to her partner. But when the woman has higher education, she is more likely to seek out extramarital relationships. This is exactly the same for men.
As a second factor, there is a correlation between the relative difference in income and extramarital relationships. When a partner earns more than thirty thousand dollars annually, there will be a greater chance of extramarital affairs, because the partner with the highest income has a sense of power. With a low income, one partner will be dependent on the other, and will therefore be less likely to cheat. In a recent study, Lammers et al. (2011) explain that there are three demonstrable reasons why there is an increased risk of cheating among people who have a lot of power. First, power increases self-confidence. Secondly, power will create more distance between two partners, while closeness is important for a good relationship. Finally, a person with a lot of power is more likely to dare to take risks.
The duration of the relationship is also very important. The period with the greatest risk of cheating in a relationship differs for men and women. Liu (2000) investigated this by means of questionnaires . This showed that for women the risk of cheating will be high around the seventh year of marriage, but that the risk decreases after this. For men, on the other hand, the situation is different: the chance of extramarital relations decreases until the eighteenth year of marriage and will only increase thereafter. The explanation given is that men and women have different views on the costs and rewards they receive in a relationship. It has been proven that men want to invest more in physical satisfaction than women, but that after the eighteenth year of marriage these investments outweigh the rewards they receive from the relationship. Women actually invest more in emotional satisfaction, so the longer a marriage lasts, the greater the costs of an extramarital relationship seem. It takes time to build a good emotional bond with someone. Lui’s (2000) research has shown that there is a difference between men and women when it comes to cheating. However, it is not yet entirely clear whether there is a significant difference between men and women in the other factors. In addition to this research, many questionnaires have been conducted for men and women to find out the causes of cheating. However, social desirability can be a tricky issue when answering the questions. People are often ashamed of the fact that they have cheated and may deny it. As a result, some tests may not have been completed completely truthfully. Finally, perceiving benefits in the environment is important. In the first years of life, vision is developed to be able to properly absorb situations and see the benefits. The opportunity to discover what an environment offers is crucial for the learning process. This perception will optimize when a person reaches adult years. People will be more likely to judge situations as whether they are satisfactory or not, and a person will be more likely to gravitate toward a situation that offers more benefits than the current one. This way, people are more likely to form relationships that are more satisfying sexually or emotionally.
Conclusion
The central question of this literature study was which factors influence the risk of cheating among men and women. It has been found that there are demonstrable factors that increase the risk of cheating in relationships. These factors, which have been proven through research, have remained stable over the past thirty years, so one can assume that these are valid reasons. The factors that influence cheating can be divided into internal and external factors. The internal factors can be divided into three different approaches. These factors are examined by personality theory and by means of the biological and evolutionary approach. External factors include factors that are influenced by the environment. Most studies are conducted by means of questionnaires, but incorrect conclusions can be drawn from this. Cheating is a problem that most people are not proud of, which means that answers cannot be answered completely truthfully.
It can be concluded that there are many internal and external factors that influence the risk of cheating in men and women. These factors have been substantiated by good research, but there are still a number of inconsistencies. One study shows that men cheat more often than women, but another study shows that this makes no difference. It has been shown that the duration of the relationship has a different influence on men and women, but as follow-up research it should be examined in several areas whether there really is a significant difference.