There are quite a few people who have had doubts in their character. As long as it doesn’t bother you, there’s not much to worry about. But if it hinders or threatens to hinder your functioning, it is time to do something about it. How do you deal with yourself as a doubter?!
Difficult to make choices
While it is easy for some to make choices in life, for others it is a huge task. You cannot always find a reason why someone is so doubtful, often it is a character trait. In addition, you often see people who have made crucial mistakes (at least emotionally) in the past when they had to make choices. This experience is taken into the future and can make people afraid to make choices again now.
It’s funny to see that the easy choice maker doesn’t understand the eternal doubter. It can even lead to conflict because in order to continue with whatever you are doing you have to make a decision. The doubter weighs and weighs and that takes time, but how does it work for the doubter and can something be done about it?
Thinking is important?
The eternal doubter is someone who often tells himself that he or she should take the time to make a choice. Thinking carefully and reviewing all the options in your head will give you some time. But in fact, people often already know what it should be, but there are also options for the other answer. Time wasting, that is actually what is going on.
This also implies that the quick decision maker may not take enough time to make a decision and that is not correct. It should be noted that the quick decision maker does not also have to be the impulsive mind.
The choice
The doubter who has finally made his choice will try to keep some options at hand. To either make a new choice in the second instance or to give an explanation based on wanting to please everyone, which is simply no longer possible once you have made the choice. But it has now also been shown that this process partly blocks your working memory. Think of it as if it keeps a part of your brain busy, while you could burden it with other (memory) matters.
Focus
An important part of the process of making choices is good focus. Various studies have been conducted into the process of the doubter and it appears that if people are distracted, usually very subtly, they can make different choices. It is therefore important for the doubter that he or she has a clear focus on the issue when making the choice.
Time
The process of arriving at an outcome is often unnecessarily stretched. Winning time does not help the process and as soon as you are aware of that, you can also arrive at the outcome. The argument that someone feels rushed is usually a non-argument to gain more time, especially if someone other than the person in question is trying to complete the process.
Relativize
The importance of putting things into perspective is important in all processes, but especially for the doubter, it is good that he or she puts into perspective what it is all about. Sometimes expressing this also helps with the choice that needs to be made.
But the most important thing is to consider what the consequences are if you postpone the choice or what happens to what you have not chosen. After all, life consists of making choices and you can’t get away from them.
Finally
What is captured in a character cannot simply be removed. But if you want to work on improving a process like eternal doubting. Which, by the way, is often experienced as difficult for the person in question.
Start by analyzing the process, then putting it into perspective and then looking at the consequences of your decision. But only as a learning process and not to have regrets. Also compare your process with the process of the quick decision maker and how he or she deals with this. Speak out what is happening in your head and learn from it.