Nowadays people divorce much faster than before, why? Is it that things have now been made easier for us, simpler? All kinds of organizations are ready to receive these people, to help these people through the ‘process’, to provide support.
A personal problem or a social one?
The number of young people involved in divorce has risen sharply in the last thirty years. What happens to the children? How do they feel about that? The child usually has to make a choice with whom they want to stay if the child is older than 12 years old. This is a big slap in the face for a child and they will feel withdrawn by the situation at home. This changes a large part of their lives and they often don’t know how to deal with this. It often feels like a kind of loss. In addition, there appear to be consequences with regard to their level of education and their view on relationship formation. Boys are especially susceptible to divorce. The age of the child at divorce appears to influence the level of education. Some young people could not deal with their feelings and, for example, channeled them elsewhere. Young people who have experienced a divorce usually leave home earlier than young people who have not experienced such a thing. Anyone who has experienced a divorce as a child is apparently less inclined to quickly enter into a permanent relationship.
The cause of divorces
It is often combined with other stress factors that interact. People going through a divorce often start looking for the cause themselves, the most common being addictions, communication problems and extramarital relationships. There are many other reasons, which are often related to each other.
How do I tell my partner that I want a divorce?
It is best to tell your partner in person, not via email, text message or whatever. Saying things like this will always be difficult. Below are a number of tips that you can take into account or prepare for:
- Avoid personal criticism.
- Don’t expect your partner to respond with understanding.
- Do not accept the accusations your partner makes.
The tax
The tax authorities must also be aware that you are getting divorced or that your cohabitation contract is being terminated. Even if you have decided to live permanently separated, the tax authorities must be aware of this and you must also report this to the municipality. In most cases, the municipality will let the tax authorities know, but be sure to check before more problems are added to the list. If the municipality does not report this, you can register with the DigiD via the tax authorities and indicate the termination date of the relationship. Do not forget to provide the moving date and the new address if you or your partner move. Be aware that the tax partnership only ends if you or your partner have submitted a request for divorce to the court and if you are no longer registered with the municipality at the same address.
The procedure
A divorce is not nothing, it involves a lot of things. Who keeps the house? Who brings what? Who takes care of the children? Alimony and so on. There are many organizations that can help you with this, and will go through it with you step by step. Although communication between you and your (ex)partner is still very important. A normal procedure takes about four to six weeks. Of course, this also involves costs, such as a lawyer, the costs of the extracts and the court, for example. A divorce can take place in many different ways, so it depends on communication; if there is good communication, then a judge will probably not have to apply.