The period from birth to the child’s sixth year is the most vulnerable period in a human life. During this period, an attachment relationship is created with one or more adults, which ensures the correct development of a child. This bonding relationship also creates a parenting relationship. Through a good attachment relationship in the first years of life, a child develops into a well-functioning adult in our society.
Child bonding
One of the most important things in human development is attachment in early childhood. A child who does not have the opportunity to attach to one or more adults will have a problem with this for the rest of his or her life.
Skills that a child must learn to function well as an adult
- Developing attachment skills.
- Learning to control urges and impulses.
- Learning to form a conscience.
- Developing your own skills.
- Development of problem-solving skills.
- Learning to be responsible for oneself and others.
- Being able to establish and maintain relationships.
These skills vary by age. A child must have the feeling that he can do what is asked and will accept leadership. So it must have confidence in itself and others.
Confidence in oneself and others are the two basic conditions for personality development.
Establishment of attachment
Dependence and trust
To survive, a young child will naturally want to bond. A small child is dependent on the adults around him. It wants to have and keep those adults with it. If adults respond to this, a child will feel comfortable and will experience that those adults can be trusted. The child feels understood and responds. It starts to laugh, extends its hands and that evokes positive feelings in an adult.
Attachment persons
The adults who are always nearby become the bonding persons for the child, the child will develop trust.
Developing confidence and self-esteem
- The child dares to count on the adult(s). Trust is created.
- This also creates confidence in the child in himself.
- The child develops self-esteem.
- The obvious presence of the adult(s) ensures that the child dares to develop without fear. It will adapt its behavior to the adult(s). The conscience is developed.
- The adult also attunes to the child: he provides love, guidance and attention.
Professor Doctor Carlo Schuengel
Professor Schuengel is professor of special education, developmental pedagogy section at the Vrije Universiteit of Amsterdam.
He specializes in: attachment, disorganized attachment, child abuse, parent functioning, residential treatment, adolescent attachment and.
The six adhesion characteristics according to Schuengel
- The child focuses on one person, the attachment person (this is not necessarily the own parent).
- The relationship has permanence.
- It’s an emotional relationship.
- The child longs for the closeness of this person.
- Sadness and/or anger arises when this contact is broken.
- Comfort is preferably sought from this person.
Neglect
The two forms of neglect usually go together: affective neglect (insufficient attention and love) and pedagogical neglect (safety, care, clothing and medical care). Due to neglect, no bonding occurs. The child may develop feeding problems, developmental delays, social problems or may become apathetic.
Damage
The child’s development can be damaged:
- The child may lag behind in cognitive and language development.
- The child cannot play or has difficulty playing.
- Length growth may lag behind.
- The child’s personality becomes emotionless. Entering into a relationship is difficult.
- The child develops a defective conscience.
The occurrence of a trauma
Trauma occurs when someone cannot cope with threats and/or danger. One gets the feeling of total powerlessness. PTSD, a post-traumatic stress disorder, often occurs after trauma.
The symptoms are:
- Increased alertness, sleep problems, concentration problems, outbursts of anger and startle reactions.
- Avoidance of anything that refers to the trauma, reduction of feelings.
- Re-experiencing the trauma in nightmares or behavior.
Children are more vulnerable than adults and will therefore not recover quickly after a trauma. They also do not put into words everything they have experienced. Children often express this in their behavior.
read more
- Attachment disorders in children, No Soil Syndrome
- Behavioral problems in children, the environment does not understand them
- Fear of failure in children, safety and acceptance
- Fear of failure, what is that? Cognitive, social or motor