Social websites and dating and relationship sites seem to make cheating easier, but spouses or lovers are increasingly spying on each other. Spy shops and private investigators take advantage of partners’ distrust. In a spy shop they can find the latest high-tech equipment in the field of eavesdropping, filming and tracking to discover and prove cheating. Thanks to these advanced listening and film equipment and new tracking techniques, many cheaters have been caught in adultery. Another way of spying is to hire a private detective. This follows the unfaithful partner using modern photo and film equipment. In addition, the person’s actions are recorded in a detailed report. No more chance for an alibi.
Cheating or adultery in the Netherlands
Some figures about adultery in the Netherlands
- According to a study by psychologist Henk Noort, 25% of Dutch people sometimes cheat.
- Durex, the well-known manufacturer of condoms, keeps it at 31%.
- There are slightly more women than men who cheat.
- The increase in cheating explodes among people around the age of sixty.
- About 30% of relationships fail after adultery.
Different ways of tolerating cheating in certain times
In the Netherlands, adultery has never been seen as the most normal thing in the world, but there are different ways of tolerance in certain times. We don’t have to go back centuries for that.
The sixties and seventies of the last century were the time of sexual freedom. ‘Make love, not war’ was a well-known hippie expression, which was not only used by the youth. The phenomenon of partner swapping and key couples was considered normal in many marriages . Of course, this does not fall under the category of adultery, because the partners were aware of each other’s dealings. But because of this morality, the attitude towards real cheating was very tolerant at this time. This tolerance disappeared
in the 1980s and 1990s, which of course does not mean that adultery was committed less.
Attitudes towards cheating became more negative. The hippie era and the sexual revolution were over and everything became more bourgeois: the ‘cottage- boom-animal’ idea.
Cheating and the Internet
Nowadays cheating is becoming a lot easier than before. The chances of meeting increase, but also the reflection on one’s own relationship and the question: Have I made the right choice?
An important factor here is the role of the Internet:
- Chatting often leads to sexual contact.
- On social websites such as Facebook, people unexpectedly find old childhood sweethearts and contact them again.
- Dating sites such as Relatieplanet offer opportunities to find new partners. The purpose of these sites is not aimed at cheating, but to help singles find a relationship. However, according to Relatieplanet, approximately 30% of dating site members are in a steady relationship.
- Dating sites such as Second Love are specifically intended for cheaters. This site links people who want to commit adultery with each other. That this meets a need is evident from the number of members of Second love.nl: 236,000.
Discover and prove cheating
High-tech equipment and detailed report
The fact that internet sites make cheating easier does not mean that partners simply accept adultery. Spouses and lovers actually spy on each other more often. New high-tech techniques from spy shops and private detectives are used.
Source: Digiart2001 | jason.kuffer, Flickr (CC BY-SA-2.0)
spy shops
In a spy shop you can find the latest gadgets in the field of eavesdropping, filming and tracking . The number of customers visiting spy shops has visibly increased in the past three years.
- Examples of spy equipment in a spy shop
- Software to listen in on cell phone conversations.
- A tiny device that can be sewn into clothing and track the ‘suspect’.
- Power strip with built-in equipment that you can call to secretly listen in on conversations in the living room or bedroom.
- Software package (eBlaster) for computer. Once the package is installed on your computer , it will send a daily report to your inbox reporting what your partner has been doing on the Internet.
There are even more advanced techniques, but they do not want to reveal them, because as always, an action is followed by a reaction.
In addition to devices that catch people, you can also go to a spy shop for equipment that protects you against eavesdropping practices, such as:
- mobile phones that cannot be tapped,
- jammers,
- anti-spy software.
Private investigators
There are approximately 150 detective agencies in our country. These also benefit from the distrust among the lovers. A private detective
follows the unfaithful partner and, with the help of modern photo and film equipment, the behavior of the person in question is recorded. The evidence is always so clear that an alibi no longer helps for the cheater, because in addition to the images taken, the detective also draws up a detailed report.
Distrust in men and women
There is a big difference between men and women in dealing with distrust. Women are not as likely to hire a detective agency. They feel more insecure than men. But among women, 95% of the time they are right about their suspicions about their partner’s infidelity.
Men often want to provide evidence themselves first and only contact a detective agency if they cannot find evidence. But 95% of them are not doing well.
Source: Paata Vardanashvili, Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-2.0)
Expected future view of relationships
Despite the aforementioned temptations, demographers expect that monogamy will still prevail. Monogamy means a close bond with your partner and people still want to be able to count on each other. But there will be a change in the duration of monogamous relationships. The time that people stay together will no longer be for life, as is stated in the wedding vow: ,Till death do us part., Relationships will become more temporary.
But…cheating will always exist!