Opinions are divided as to whether or not unconditional friendship exists. But true friendship comes close to unconditionality anyway. Bad friendship is often the sum of a number of aspects that bring a friendship to an end, but friendships often fade away or ex-friends simply let it die. However, your friendship can also end gracefully.
Friends
Friends are men and women who do things for each other without asking for anything in return. Being there for each other in good and bad times is partly similar to a relationship like romantic partners have. It is not about the frequency that friends see each other, but they do share things and are there for each other.
Friendship right or wrong?
Changing friendship
In addition to a relationship between friends as described here, people change over time and this can be in a positive or negative way.
- When friends become alienated, there is not always a reason for this, because it can go fairly unnoticed and one can suddenly come to the conclusion that there is little friendship left.
- A friendship can also change due to outside influences. Think of partners or other friends who influence, but money can also influence friendship.
- Emotion can also be a killer when it comes to friendship. Jealousy or frustration can greatly affect a friendship.
Wrong friendship
Once good friendships can change and eventually become bad friendships or maybe they were never really good. It may not always be immediately perceived as a mistake. There are a number of criteria you should consider when it comes to bad friendships, some examples.
- Friendships where not all secrets are safe.
- Not always being positive or positively critical.
- An agreement is not always an agreement.
- There is not always joy in seeing each other.
There are more reasons to think of, but if you are already talking about unconditional – or something very close to it – then the above matters should not be points for discussion.
When a friendship ends
The easiest thing to do is just let a friendship bleed to death. You no longer see each other and electronic traffic continues to decline. Until at some point there is no more contact and you can say that the friendship has ended. But why wouldn’t you just end a friendship that no longer feels like a friendship gracefully, just like you do with a love relationship that is over.
Conversation
Start with a conversation where you explain in an open manner what friendship means to you and why this friendship does not meet these requirements (even if you are part of the problem, you can express this). An example can help you if you have difficulty putting it into words. Especially if the termination of the friendship is the sum of a number of aspects, there must be examples that are important in arriving at this decision. Repeat this slowly during the conversation.
If you really have difficulty speaking, you can also put the conversation on paper. Before you give it or send it electronically, it is a good idea to put it aside and then read it again. You may also find aspects that are more triggered by emotion. Ask him/her to read it and allow room for explanation.
Beautiful moments
Whether you choose words out of mouth or on paper, make sure you never throw blame. You have experienced many or at least a few wonderful moments as friends and you cherish them. You can also say that calmly. But these moments are separate from whether or not the friendship continues.
Finally
Friendship is beautiful and essential in every human life. You have to work on both sides to keep a friendship going. But there can be so many reasons that a friendship ends, that’s just part of life. As long as you deal with the termination of a friendship maturely.