It doesn’t seem appropriate to ask for help if you can’t figure something out, can’t see things through or if you need an extra brain to think about an issue. If it involves asking for hands, this will still work. When it comes to the psyche, we believe that we have to solve everything ourselves. Many people were raised this way, to solve their problems themselves. Yet daring to be vulnerable also has an important function, in addition to the help that you will undoubtedly be offered.
Busy existence
We need so much, especially from ourselves. Going along with the craziness of the day and if we want a lot such as a career, family, a good social life with friends, of course sports and preferably also do something for society in the form of volunteer work, then it can be some moment becomes too much. But we live as if everything has to happen now and then we are of course not inferior to each other.
If everyone in your circle of friends does it themselves, then you are weak if you do ask for help. Then at some point you get the story of the chicken and the egg, what comes first? We do not communicate intensely, the things that keep us busy in the sense of the good life, growing children and the career that yields a nice salary that allows you to do everything, is in fact only a dressing for the bleeding. Enough money and no time or worse, only with a lot of money can you be happy. However, saying that sometimes we just can’t make it at all, sleep poorly or perhaps not always be as happy as we pretend, does not belong in the picture of a happy and successful life. Actually relatively superficial.
Hellup!
Asking for help and therefore being vulnerable is perceived as weak and what is this based on? On the one hand, some research from the past ten years shows that individualization plays an important role and, on the other hand, the inculcated idea or part of education that you must above all be strong and being vulnerable and asking for help when necessary does not fit in with this.
Communication
Communication is a basic human need, but it turns out that when it really matters, people do not share with others in their immediate environment who they trust what is really on their minds. Not getting anywhere with something, not liking it for whatever reason or needing an extra set of brain cells to solve a problem are things that you need to be able to discuss with close contacts. Especially in a small circle you have to be able to express your feelings and the fact that many people do not do that is disturbing.
Vulnerability is strong
Fortunately, there is a group of people who want to counterbalance this quasi-tough attitude and show that showing your vulnerable side is actually strong. This manifests itself in a number of aspects and can actually be tackled by anyone with a little courage. Consider:
- Compassion for yourself, and actually that also comes from loving yourself, makes it easier (perhaps even necessary) to have compassion for others.
- Showing that you are not perfect and showing where you have weaker sides is human and actually very strong. You have to be strong in your shoes to be able and dare to resist any resistance. Moreover, it is not always easy to really look into your soul.
- Authenticity, we talk about it. This is because we think we have to live up to an ideal picture and that is often not real, a picture that we have idealized. Real is who you really are, authentic… with all the possible flaws and craziness that comes with it.
- Showing your vulnerable side not only makes a person more beautiful. It gives a total picture of a real person and not the molded picture of someone who thinks you have to conform to something (think, for example, of certain actors or formed bands).
- The beauty of a person who makes themselves vulnerable also lies in the soft side of the person that becomes visible. The body and mind can relax and there is no longer an image of ‘wanting to be the perfect person’ swirling around in the mind.
Doing?
Reading it, thinking about it and realizing that you want to do that is something different from actually doing it. It demands a lot from the person who has always met the perfect picture and suddenly shows who he/she really is. This also means that you may be tested to see who in your circle of acquaintances is real, understands what you are talking about and will lend a helping hand. Do people
also drop out? That chance is there, because someone who surrounds himself with like souls may not understand that someone in that circle is weak. That detracts from your own image or is too confrontational.
But experience also shows that it can have an interaction and that you are a kind of driving force. Helping each other is not a bad thing, people generally like to do it. As long as it is from pure motives, you are taking an important step for yourself, but possibly also for people around you.