Most toddlers and preschoolers like to delay going to sleep. Many young parents therefore often have problems putting their small children to bed. Their child cries when it has to go to bed, hesitates a lot in undressing, washing and brushing teeth, wants to do this and wants to do that, and eventually goes to bed later than intended. Yet bedtime does not have to be a problem. Whether the child goes to sleep peacefully depends largely on the preparation. A fixed ritual before going to bed is already one of the ways to prepare the child for going to sleep, but there is more. For example, consider warning the toddler and/or preschooler in a timely manner that they need to go to bed immediately and therefore put an end to what they were doing.
Putting yourself to bed can be a daily recurring problem
In many households, putting the children to bed is a daily problem that is not easy for everyone to deal with. It is also very annoying if a child has bedtime problems every night. Some parents choose to put their child to sleep in the living room on the couch or on their lap. The child quickly gets used to this state of affairs.
Ten tips for the most peace and quiet
However, it is not good for the child’s peace of mind or your own. The child finds it more difficult to fall asleep due to the sounds of people talking, the television and/or animals around him and you as parents do not get the evening rest that you need after a full working day and activities with the children. It is therefore always better to put the child to bed on time in his/her own bedroom. There are a number of good tips that help you do this while resting.
Point 1: Do not put your toddler or preschooler to bed immediately after dinner
No one can go to sleep straight away on a full stomach. Not even your child. That wouldn’t even be good, because a little exercise after meals is good for digestion. Playing, cleaning up together or taking an evening walk together is a good way to help digestion. It immediately initiates the bedtime ritual.
Point 2: no more wild games before going to sleep
First of all, rest just before going to bed is necessary. Children who play wildly with mom and dad just before undressing and going to bed, are put on their shoulders, are tickled, etc., always become busier and therefore have more difficulty falling asleep.
Think about your own habits
You just have to think about your own habits. After a fun party, most people cannot go to bed straight away, but want to sit on the couch at home to relax. Those who do go to bed straight away often remain awake for a while, despite any possible fatigue. First, the heart rate must always decrease and the blood flow more slowly. This is no different with children.
Point 3: Get the child used to a fixed bedtime
Your child gets used to a fixed bedtime. Slightly older children can also indicate on the clock when it is bedtime, so that they can see when they need to clean up. It is best to teach children as young as four years old this. Children who are put to bed at irregular times are more likely to miss bedtime than children who are used to going to sleep at fixed times. This can be deviated from occasionally, such as on a birthday, but for all other days a fixed bedtime is better.
An exception for children between two and four years old
Between the ages of two and four, small children often lose their afternoon nap. This can cause problems, especially around the age of three. If they have slept during the day, they will still be fit for a long time in the evening and will not want to go to sleep at their normal bedtime. If they haven’t had their afternoon nap, they are often tired and bothered by dinner time. It is a difficult time, both for the child and for the parents. It is best to adapt to the child’s needs. If he has skipped his afternoon nap, put him to bed earlier and do not let him sleep longer than 7 p.m. or 7:30 p.m. If the child has had an afternoon nap, simply let him or her stay up a little longer until most of the energy has been used up. Then it will also fall asleep faster afterwards.
Point 4: Don’t ask questions
Never ask your child if he wants to go to bed, because the answer may be no, making it three times more difficult to get him to bed on time. Especially in the stubbornness phase, the period in which the child discovers his own will, such a question is a precursor to problems. Putting to bed then becomes more of a battle between parent and child, which usually ends in a crying child and angry, frustrated parents. You definitely don’t want to experience that every night.
Point 5: a fixed ritual when going to sleep
Make going to bed a pleasant, but peaceful ritual. Children like certainty and the regular routine of putting them to bed is soothing for them. Putting away the toys, undressing and putting on pajamas, washing, brushing teeth, going to the toilet and then putting them to bed must have a fixed ending.
Don’t rush it
Take your time and don’t rush the child, but make sure everything is done smoothly one after the other. Children always notice when their parents are in a hurry. That always backfires. The child then makes up all kinds of things to pass the time and falls asleep less easily.
Point 6: tell a story before going to sleep
Children like it when one of the parents covers the child and sits with him for a while. Telling a story is a pleasant way to end the child’s day. Children under the age of four cannot yet listen to long stories and certainly not to follow-up stories. A short story of 5 minutes is enough for them. Telling a verse is also experienced as soothing. The child often joins in after a few times.
Older children can listen longer
Older children can handle a longer story, but even for them it doesn’t have to last longer than ten or fifteen minutes before going to sleep. Speak in a calm tone, so that the child can really relax and fall asleep. Do not tell horror stories or open-ended stories before going to sleep, but only stories that have a happy ending. Just like adults, children need to relax after a busy day and want to go to sleep with a good feeling.
Point 7: then say a verse or a prayer to put your child to sleep
That also calms the child down. Eventually it becomes part of the daily ritual and indicates that it is now really bedtime and the child should go to sleep. For very little ones, slow music is also great as the last sound to fall asleep. There are many beautiful music boxes for babies and toddlers on the market with pleasant, light and musical tones that your little one can easily fall asleep to.
Point 8: leave a light on if necessary
Toddlers and preschoolers who are afraid of the dark often become calmer with a night light on. A dark environment can be very scary for little ones, especially when mom and dad leave and he only has the cuddly toy to hold on to. Children are often unreasonably afraid of all kinds of ghosts and fantasized figures that might come towards them in the dark. That is of course nonsense and every adult knows it too, but for a small child that fear can be very real.
Don’t try the opposite
There is no point in trying to be tough on the child and telling him not to act. That usually only makes things more frightening. Children have an enormous imagination and are not always good at using it. A child’s fears are very real to him or her. Especially the fear of the dark. However, a night light can often help.
Point 9: Stay nearby for a while
Don’t go far away when your child has just been put to bed, but find something to do nearby. Your presence has a soothing effect and the child will fall asleep more easily. It feels safe with you around. This is very good for very active children, because they are sometimes ready to get out of bed and start playing as soon as mother or father has gone to the living room. However, if they don’t dare to do so because you are still nearby, they will fall asleep faster. Sleep, which active children desperately need.
Point 10: return immediately when the child gets out of bed
If the child gets out of bed and has a different excuse every night, don’t fall for that, but take the child back to bed and stay nearby for a while. If the child notices that the excuse works and is given the opportunity to watch television in the living room or sit on mom or dad’s lap, he or she will do so more often and turns this into a ritual, from which the boundaries are being pushed further and further. So don’t start. Don’t grumble either, just let it be known that this isn’t working.
Older children
You can often calm primary school children by letting them read a book for fifteen minutes, in addition to the regular evening ritual. They often fall asleep while reading and you can simply take the book away a little later. Reading in bed has another advantage: the child reads a piece every day, which is good for reading skills. Especially now that they spend more time in front of the television and the computer, such fifteen minutes of reading is not superfluous.
Finally, do not put small children to bed abruptly
A child who is suddenly torn from his play will always protest. Therefore, always prepare your child for the upcoming bedtime by telling him or her that he or she will be washed and put on pajamas shortly. That way it already prepares itself a bit. Put away the toys together so that they also feel like the day has come to an end.
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