Extortion of the elderly is happening more and more often these days. Older people who depend on family members and caregivers in their daily lives are regularly extorted by the people who should actually be supporting them. It is one of the ugliest forms of extortion. Elderly people often cannot manage their daily lives without the help of others. They are often limited in their mobility and have ailments that sometimes confine them to their homes. Their dependence makes them vulnerable. Elderly people with mild dementia in particular are often victims of extortion. However, as an older person you can often do something to minimize the risk.
Extortion of dependent elderly people occurs regularly
As an older person you often cannot avoid it. You have difficulty walking and are no longer able to do the weekly shopping, for example. You see poorly and are no longer allowed to drive. Your muscles become stiffer and maintenance of the home is no longer possible as it used to be. The same applies to any garden and sweeping or clearing snow from the sidewalk. In each of these situations you will have to look for solutions to continue living independently.
Many elderly people look for reliable help
Looking for help with daily activities worries many elderly people. After all, how do you know who is reliable and who you can safely entrust your care to? In home care, employees are screened, but even there malpractices sometimes occur. However, just go with your good feeling and initially observe how the work is done and how the help behaves towards you.
Ensure regular check-ups by family or friends
Also enlist a family member or trusted friend to help judge. After all, two or three see more than one. Then continue to check regularly. This way you will notice more quickly that something is wrong.
Tip for concerned family members
Visit occasionally when help is available, but also when it is not. Also inform your family member in need of help that someone else can always be found if the help does not work satisfactorily or causes other problems.
Too little help from home care
Now that home care has been left to the municipalities, less and less money is becoming available to help the elderly. The infamous ,kitchen table conversations, already report enough about this. An older person often starts looking for someone else who can help. That is a bit more dangerous, but it usually works satisfactorily. It’s just expensive to have to pay for two assistants.
Canceling home help is not always a good thing
Many elderly people solve the sudden shortage of hours of help by terminating home help and then continuing with their own help. After all, they can be instructed to do what they want done. After all, home helpers are not allowed to do everything. They have their own work list. However, there is control over the home helpers. Not on the help you sought yourself. Anyone who has no family members must be extra attentive as an elderly person in need of care. Usually everything goes well, but things can also go wrong.
Extortion by an assistant also occurs in nursing homes
In a nursing home, people are even more dependent on the care provided in their environment than at home. After all, people in a nursing home are there for a reason. In their greater dependence, it is even more difficult to resist pressure from a family member or caregiver to, for example, hand over the bank card and code, give money or even enter into a marriage, which makes the family members inheritance has been lost in whole or in part.
The extortion of the elderly often happens very gradually
People often do not immediately notice that they are being extorted. It usually starts very innocently with kindnesses, small gifts and attentions, giving the older person a feeling of security and safety. Then there are conversations about the difficult financial situation of the helping caregiver or family member, which makes the elderly person feel sorry.
If the attitude of the family member or helper changes: be careful
Slowly, the relationship often changes and there is a very subtle threat to withhold or reduce help if the older person does not become more lenient. At the end of the song, the older person no longer dares to refuse, in order to remain assured of the necessary help. In any case, that is wrong.
You are not dependent on a single person
Never let yourself be pushed into that corner. After all, there is always paid help available somewhere. You are never dependent on that one person. There are plenty of people who come to do the same jobs for money. You just have to find them. Always ask for help from family members, friends and/or acquaintances.
Sometimes extortion is also very aggressive
Extortion can also go much further. Sometimes the care provider will legally withdraw an amount of money, but only hand over part of it to the elderly person upon return. When asked, that amount is intended to pay petrol costs or for another reason.
Blackmailers are imaginative
Extortionists are imaginative when it comes to finding possible reasons for withholding money. Sometimes elderly people are also forced to immediately hand over the money they have withdrawn to the helper so that they can get the groceries without having to ask for money. However, the elderly person will no longer see the money and the next purchases will simply be made again by debit card.
Do not allow yourself to be threatened and give in to the extortion, but report it
As soon as you notice that there are disturbances, first talk to the relevant healthcare provider or family member. If nothing changes after that, hire a reliable family member. Explain the situation to them and also report it to the police.
Do not change the will
Especially if your assistant also insists on having your will changed in his/her favor. Never do that, because after that you can no longer count on that person. He/she then has what he/she wanted and if there is nothing left to get from you, you are usually no longer interesting. At most to conceal his/her criminal behavior to the family and the outside world.
Always pay for help from family members
Older people usually grew up in frugal times and do not like to throw money around. That’s understandable, but if you expect your relatives to care for you for free, you make yourself dependent on them. It is better to make arrangements. If a family member is inclined to pick up your groceries, don’t let them do it for free, but pay for it what you would otherwise have to pay if you had to have the groceries delivered by a business.
It doesn’t have to be a large amount
It may well be a little less, but do pay, because that way you can also ensure that the work is done by someone else if the relationship becomes awkward. Moreover, the family member providing help does not feel that time is wasted and is often happy with the extra. So it works both ways, especially if you treat yourself to coffee and something tasty afterwards.
Help from a healthcare provider
The care in a healthcare institution is paid for and you do not have to do anything extra, at most if you have wishes that are not covered by the care package. The same applies to this: give something in return, but be careful that this is not enforced over time. If you get the feeling that the care provider is going to overdo it, find someone else to carry out those special wishes, but do not allow yourself to be extorted.
Fear is a bad counselor
Do not be afraid. Elderly people who become dependent are often afraid of the future and of how they will slowly lose their strength and health. However, fear is a bad counselor. If you don’t know what to do and you don’t have any family members or children of your own, find a professional counselor, such as someone from social work or your GP, to present your problem to. If there is really extortion, the police must be called. What happens to you, that person can also do to others.
Family members must be alert to extortion from parents, uncles and aunts
If you have an elderly relative who can no longer fully care for themselves, be alert to extortion. Keep in touch regularly. Let the older person talk and share freely during your visit or phone call. Ensure a good relationship, so that the older person knows that he/she can always come to you with concerns and problems. Remember that you may one day grow old and find yourself in the same situation. You would also be happy to have someone with whom you can discuss any problems regarding assistance.
A new relationship can also be beautiful
However, sometimes it is also the other way around. Older people can fall in love just as much as young people. A new relationship between two older people can be very beautiful and endearing, although it is often difficult to digest for their own children. Sometimes the children turn against the relationship to safeguard their inheritance.
Have it arranged properly with the notary
They then see the other party as a fortune seeker who will challenge their right to the subsequent inheritance. However, that does not always have to be the case. Prevent this situation by arranging everything properly through the notary, so that nothing has to stand in the way of your relationship and your happiness.
Social contacts are crucial in preventing extortion
The elderly would do well to stay alert. It is especially important to maintain social contacts. Nowadays, with the telephone and the computer, this is no longer as difficult as it used to be. Even those who have difficulty walking can maintain contact in this way. After all, others often notice more quickly what is happening. Those who are lonely and only receive help from one person are easier to extort. No one will notice that.