The search for a life partner does not go smoothly for everyone. Shy people in particular have difficulty making contact with strangers. Shyness is the result of insecurity and a lack of self-confidence. This shyness can be a major obstacle, especially when looking for a life partner. People do not dare to properly address a potential partner, do not know how to open a conversation in the best possible way and often miss a good opportunity to find someone for life. That’s a shame, because most people want a relationship so they can enjoy life better together and, if possible, start a family.
Shy people fear the unknown
Shy people usually do not like to go to places where they have to meet strangers. This applies not only to parties, but also to the first days of school, job interviews, parties where people only know one or two people, and so on. They prefer to go to a movie, a concert, or the like, because they can be there anonymously without having to make contact and therefore ,expose, themselves.
Fear of making contact with strangers
That aversion is caused by the fear of making contact. Especially for making contact with people one meets for the first time, but also fear of people who are overflowing with self-confidence and a drive for action. Shy people often feel that they are too small and have too few qualities. They are afraid of being held accountable by others. Afraid of getting ,bruises, somewhere and then having to withdraw even more.
Too little self-confidence to go speed dating
It all stems from a lack of self-confidence. Too little confidence in one’s own good qualities, qualities and skills. For many shy people, speed dating is often an insurmountable mountain that they do not like to climb. Yet there is something that can be done about it. For example, write down for yourself what you are good at and what you are not so good at. Look for as many good qualities and skills as negative ones. You often discover that you are quite well put together. That strengthens self-confidence.
The family circle is safe, but you usually will not find a life partner there
Shy people usually feel comfortable in their family circle and immediate environment, if there is good contact with them, but as soon as they leave that circle, insecurity sets in. Because of this uncertainty, they often wait too long to make contact, which means that everyone in the group has usually already found one or more people to talk to in an animated manner before the shy person has plucked up the courage to make contact. He/she is alone and feels less and less comfortable.
Making contact is becoming increasingly difficult
The result is that the person withdraws more and more and becomes less and less able to express himself if he is still approached by someone. It becomes a vicious circle from which a shy person cannot easily escape.
Points of attention for making contact
There are a number of points to consider that can help you connect with others more easily. Some of these make a lot of sense, but are not always used. Just go with what you like. Usually that alone is a good advisor, but there are others.
1 Everyone is equal
If you are the shy type, remember that everyone is equal. Even important and high-ranking people are not always confident and easy to get along with. Everyone sometimes finds themselves in a situation where he or she does not know whether others will still accept or reject him/her. The trick is to realize that you cannot please everyone and that it therefore does not matter much if there are people who react negatively to you. After all, that happens to everyone.
2 Practice opening sentences when looking for a partner
If you are looking for a life partner, write down a few opening sentences for a conversation. No standard sentences, but normal opening sentences, such as have you been here before or don’t I know you from somewhere? You can probably come up with more. Write down a number of them so that you are not left speechless if you suddenly see a man or woman who attracts you enormously and with whom you would definitely like to make contact. What you write down will always be remembered better and there is a good chance that you will have a good opening line within reach at the decisive moment.
3 Show interest in the other person
Once you have successfully opened the conversation, show interest in the other person. People are like flowers. When flowers are illuminated by the sun, they turn towards it. People do the same. Expressed interest is therefore usually rewarded with an explanation about your own person and attention for yourself. The beginning is there and the rest of the conversation usually goes without saying.
4 Practice (in making contact) makes perfect
Anyone who is looking for a partner, but is quite shy, would do well to practice. A good tip is to speak to everyone who only has time. Speak to everyone, including the girl or boy in the store behind the cash register. Do not make any distinction between ages. So also speak to an older woman waiting in line behind you, or an old gentleman sitting in the doctor’s waiting room. This way you will eventually become more comfortable talking to strangers and that can help you if you suddenly meet the man or woman of your life.
5 Use non-verbal language
Non-verbal language is also very important when looking for a partner. A sullen or overly serious expression on the face does not invite conversation. Kindness is appreciated by all people and a smile that involves the whole face also makes you more pleasant to look at. The face takes on another nicer expression. A smile always gives a positive impression and usually evokes a friendly response from the other person. It is a wordless contact, after which contact via an opening sentence will be much easier for you.
6 Good manners
It may sound old-fashioned, but a gallant and attentive man always has an advantage with a woman and a friendly, interested woman has the same advantage with a man. In addition, women often fall in love with men who make them laugh, while men can be enormously attracted to women’s tasteful clothing and well-groomed appearance.
7 Be aware of the feelings of others
Others also do not always feel comfortable, but do not always show this. So you are in good company. Not everyone is confident and for most people the first contact with strangers is exciting. However, you do not always see it in the other person.
8 Avoid difficult contacts
If you do not respond well or indifferently to your interested opening of a conversation, it is better to ignore it and then immediately look for another conversation partner who will respond better. You cannot please everyone and not everyone is interested in you. That is a known fact.
Search for people who suit you
In your life you only get a few good friends, a few acquaintances and a few people you have no interest in at all. That applies to everyone. So you have to look for the people with whom you have a connection. The search for a life partner is a vital part of this.
9 Be positive
Positive people are appreciated by others. Everyone likes to be around people who see the bright side of everything and can cheer others up or make them laugh with their cheerful statements. Positive people are usually also the core of groups at parties and gatherings. However, people turn away from someone who always complains and sees the dark side of everything. So have a positive attitude. Therefore, do not allow negative thoughts. Anyone who thinks I will never find a life partner, radiates that and usually doesn’t find anyone.
10 Don’t miss opportunities
Sometimes you meet someone you immediately feel something for, even though you have never met him or her before. Don’t miss this opportunity, but speak to that person kindly. After all, who knows whether it will not turn out to be an encounter that you will enjoy for a lifetime and that will give meaning to the rest of your life?
Don’t be afraid, but dare to take the step
So be active and don’t let the opportunities pass you by. Approach people. Show interest in the other person and you will see that the contact goes better than you thought.
Social media
Seeking contact via social media is wise, but cannot compete with real, physical contact with others. So look for people. Come along if you are asked to do something, go to parties and throw a party yourself. A birthday party, a Christmas dinner, a barbecue in the summer or something similar. Don’t be afraid, even if you can’t cook or bake yourself. There are plenty of ready-made items available in stores to set up something similar.
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