This article provides an explanation about sibling bonding (a strong bond between children) and what you as a parent can do to help strengthen the bond between your children.
Sibling bonding
Sibling bonding means a strong bond between brothers and sisters. A good relationship with your brother or sister is a strong safety net: as an adult you always have someone you can fall back on who understands and supports you. Parents can play an important role in this: parents can strengthen or weaken the bond between children. Although characters in a family can sometimes clash, there is a very good chance that children from the same family will get along well with each other and even complement each other in many areas. To do this, they must get to know and recognize each other and learn how to deal with conflicting character traits.
Specific tips
Let nature take its course
Sometimes children naturally gravitate towards each other and siblings act like twins. They instinctively feel that they complement each other and have little conflict. In this case, there is little the parent can do to strengthen the bond. On the contrary, extra efforts by the parents will actually weaken the bond and create jealousy between the children. It is then wiser to take a step back and let nature take its course and give your children the space to build their own bond. Small children often do this by seeking physical contact with each other and later playing together (which can sometimes degenerate into mischief around the teenage age).
Rest together
Enjoying a moment of rest together strengthens the bond. This can mean sleeping together or taking a nap, but also just watching TV together or listening to a story. If you put children to sleep together, you should take some precautions (see Co-sleeping). A restless sleeper can sleep alone.
Have fun together
Group activities strengthen the bond. Invite your children to play together, but don’t force them if they don’t want to. These do not always have to be active games such as football or tag or hide and seek, but can also be quiet activities such as drawing or painting together. Also give your children the opportunity to invite their brother or sister by making toys accessible and creating free time.
Eating together
Eating together as a family is very important. This is often the meeting point for family members. Sometimes it can be fun for the children to eat together without adults. However, this should not become a habit.
The natural order
In nature, the strongest is the boss. Strong does not only mean physically strong in this context, but ,the one who is best adapted to the circumstances,. In nature, this animal takes the lead and the others follow. In humans there is also a kind of ,pecking order,. As soon as children become aware of themselves and their environment, they try to establish order. They then find out what the rules are within a family, a group or a class. As a result, they test the boundaries and adapt their behavior to the boundaries. This can sometimes (depending on the character of the child) cause intense conflict. Brothers and sisters then start arguing to bend the rules to their will. They are trying to figure out how to interact with each other and whether it is possible to get their way. Give them the opportunity to restore order themselves. Intervene as little as possible. Only if one of the children is suffering (physical or verbal violence) should an adult intervene. Not intervening in such a situation can lead to a negative self-image and self-effacement. The children often resolve matters with respect for each other. If this does not work, you can provide them with tools such as empathy ( how does the other child feel in this situation? ), expression ( let them tell you how they feel and why ), alternative behavior ( instead of hitting you can also hug or hug each other). shake hands or … ) and alternatives ( we can also solve this this way ). The children will return to instruments in similar situations and learn to deal better with others and with difficult characters in their future lives. It is important that the adult sets the example and does not react aggressively in similar situations.
Body contact
People need body contact. Hugging or even shaking hands makes contact and helps people get on the same page. However, this should not be forced because then you will have an adverse effect.
Conspiracy
Allowing children to get into mischief together (within reason) strengthens the bond. Often it is about something innocent such as pranking someone (April Fool’s Day pranks). However, no one else may suffer any harm in doing so.
Finally
In this article I started from Attachment Parenting. However, these tips fit within any parenting method. Just like the tips in my other articles, it is advisable to only apply what fits your own parenting method and family situation. Children quickly sense whether you feel bad about something. Such situations often lead to unruly behavior.