Raising children is a challenge. If you start on time, you will reap the benefits later. Be firm, but also encourage positive behavior. “The only sensible way to raise children is to be an example.” (Albert Einstein)
Education from an early age
It is best to start raising children before your child is one year old. As a toddler, your child is already testing how far he can go. It is important that you both encourage and appreciate good behavior (smiling, hugging, patting on the shoulder, etc.) and provide appropriate punishment for behavior that goes wrong (ignore, tap on the buttock, put aside for a while). The best punishment is to ignore the negative behavior and to clearly explain to your child that you do not want that behavior. Make sure that if you threaten something, you also carry out the threat. Children understand such things very quickly! From primary school onwards, you can also let children lend a hand in housework. In this way, in a certain sense, they already learn a sense of responsibility. For example, you can let them set the table, clear the table, help do the dishes, walk the dog. When your children reach puberty, remember that they are more likely to keep agreements that they have drawn up themselves. Also learn to negotiate agreements that they do not agree with. Parenting is a two-way street.
Under pressure
Children come under pressure from society, peers and/or parents at a fairly young age. For example, society determines that you have to follow certain fads to be in. This is cleverly responded to by advertising and television. Social pressure from peers occurs at school, among other things. Your child may be teased because he doesn’t have a Playstation or because he can’t talk about the new music videos on MTV. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should put your views aside. Parents often demand all kinds of things from their children: to be brave, to clean their room, to get good grades. The bar is sometimes set too high.
A few tips
If your child has forgotten his sandwiches, it is best not to bring them back. It will be fine and probably won’t forget the sandwiches again. Place the computer in a common room and make clear agreements about when and for how long the children can use it. For example, for a primary school child, one fixed moment per week is more than sufficient. Provide good information about the sites they can visit. If you are traveling together, let the children choose what to do for one day. Also teach your child to save for, for example, an I-pod or a mobile phone. As a parent you can still add money, but the more difficult it is to save, the greater the reward!
Loving your children means learning to let go
It is very important that children can separate themselves from their parents and vice versa. For example, it is not good to take your child into bed with you on a regular basis. Even if you really like it. This habit is not easy to break. Don’t be too anxious towards your children: let them discover things and go to camp. This way you stimulate your child’s self-confidence.
Are our children getting too much?
Later you mainly think back to toys that allowed you to use your imagination: a doll, a car. It has been found that if you have too many toys, it is not easy for you to play. If you want to spoil your child positively, read him a story or sing some songs together. And playing outside still works, just like playing board games.
Everyone likes to be spoiled, not just children, but also moms and dads. However, do this the right way, and you will get treasures from children who know how to appreciate things and can still say thank you. Tuck them in at night, tell them you love them, go for a walk or ice skate together. When they are ready, give them responsibility by leaving them alone for an hour. Also let them choose what they want to eat. Be creative and add to this list yourself. It is sometimes easy to put your children in front of the TV or the computer. But don’t make a habit of this. There is so much they can discover or experience alone or together with you!