If we were guaranteed to know what the ingredients are for a long, successful marriage, we would be very rich by now. Yet we can describe the ingredients. Depending on how it is interpreted, this may or may not make for a long and successful marriage. So completely in your own hands! The selfish society, no matter how annoying the word sounds, is taking over. We are busy for ourselves and that immediately implies that we have little or nothing left for our fellow man. Whether this is the colleague, the partner or anyone else.
A 2007 study from New York University in Manhattan/New York presents a number of facts that form the basis for this article .
Some facts
The importance of respecting each other is highly regarded. No fewer than 87.8% consider this to be of paramount importance.
But in addition to respecting each other, a different way of thinking is also essential. No fewer than 73.4% find this important in a relationship. Number 3 is the give and take that everyone knows. Good for 70.1%.
Giving substance to the facts
If we look at the top 3, it appears that freedom of movement and being able to think differently is of great importance. This outcome is also somewhat contemporary and the outcome would most likely have been significantly different a number of years ago.
Knowing that these aspects are important, how can they be given concrete substance? A few tips
- Give your partner space for ideas, even if they are not directly applicable.
- Give your partner the space to actually explain a certain line of thought.
- Let go of the education level of you and your partner, especially if there is a difference in education level.
- Try to find the balance between what you want and what your partner wants.
- If there is a difference of opinion, try to find out your partner’s reasoning behind it.
And then…
It is not really revolutionary to say that space and respect for the partner are important ingredients for a good marriage. Yet we are now well over 30% of marriages that are not successful. Is it the space that we allow ourselves to be missed, taken away or simply not allowed to realize this? Who knows?
An important fact is that the basic ingredients for a successful marriage have been comparable for years, while society is subject to change. So remarkable! Consider the changing roles within the marriage (husband/wife), both partners attach importance to a career, who gives concrete substance to the upbringing of the children, etc. etc.
Can we conclude that the basic principles for a successful marriage have been the same for years? , but the division of roles within marriage is subject to change? If this is the case, is the percentage of about 30% failed marriages still realistic or are we in for much more?
Time will tell.