There is a flirt in all of us. Flirting is a primal human instinct, it is simply in our nature. But even though it is ingrained in our genes, it is not clear to everyone how flirting works. How do you use body language to show another person that you are interested in him? How do you see that flirting works? Where can you flirt? Don’t worry, after reading this article you will know exactly how to approach the boys.
Why do we flirt?
Yes, why do we actually do that, flirting? Flirting is not just a human thing. The art of seduction is also used all too often in the animal world. So the answer to this question is actually very simple: if we didn’t flirt, if we didn’t show interest in people of the opposite sex, then we wouldn’t reproduce. As a result, humanity would become extinct. Flirting is therefore essential to our existence and is not just something we do because it is fun. But it sure is fun! It’s a real ego boost , both for you and for him. The fact that we are taught it naturally does not mean that flirting is a piece of cake for everyone. Flirting consists of all kinds of unwritten rules and etiquette. Instinctively we follow this neatly, without thinking about it. However, if you ignore a rule, flirting can have negative consequences. To avoid communication misunderstandings, it is useful to remember some rules of flirting and stick to them.
Where can you flirt?
You can flirt in almost any place you can think of, but not all places are equally suitable. Discos, nightclubs and pubs are excellent locations. Flirting is completely allowed during parties and celebrations. In some cases it is better to be cautious. In a pub, for example, the area around the bar is suitable for flirting because this is the so-called public zone. People who sit at tables, on the other hand, value privacy more, just like people who eat out in a restaurant. Schools and universities are locations that are very suitable for flirting, because there are many young people around here and it is easy to make contact. Flirting at work is difficult to categorize. Whether flirting is appropriate here depends on the colleagues and the workplace, and can only be estimated by observing the behavior of colleagues. Sports and hobby clubs are also good places to flirt, especially because you share the same interest(s). Events are allowed, as long as you do not distract people from what is being watched. Don’t you dare flirt at funerals and other sad gatherings, because it is certainly not appreciated here.
What kind of clothes do I wear?
If you plan to flirt, you naturally want to look nice. You should not only consider what looks nice, but also what is comfortable. You don’t have to wear sky-high heels if you absolutely can’t walk in them. When you flirt you need to feel confident, and you can’t do that if you’re afraid of falling. Remember when you go for a sexy outfit: don’t overdo it, keep it stylish. Either an exciting cleavage or a short skirt, but not both. Dress the way you feel comfortable, because then you appear most natural. Exactly the same story with makeup. For a natural-looking look, use mascara, an eyeshadow in an earthy complexion and some lip gloss. If you feel like going all out, go for either the eyes or the lips. Take your time applying your makeup so it doesn’t look artificial. In general, guys don’t really like makeup, so be careful with it. A face covered in powder is really not attractive!
Who am I flirting with?
Research has shown that partners who are approximately equally attractive have a longer relationship than partners who differ greatly in physical attractiveness. Of course it is very difficult to determine how attractive you are, but it is likely that you underestimate yourself in this regard. Research shows that many women have a poor self-image and underestimate their own attractiveness. 80% consider themselves too fat and try to achieve a body shape that is about two sizes thinner than men find attractive! In other words, have a little more confidence in your own attractiveness and choose someone who looks good. In addition, it is not recommended to flirt with someone who is already taken. If he is with his girlfriend, it can cause quite a stir if you happily ogle him. Also don’t flirt with someone who looks tired, sad or angry, because there is a good chance that that person will not respond to your advances.
How do I flirt?
You now know why you flirt, where to flirt, who to flirt with, but not yet how to actually flirt. Flirting is almost all about body language. Almost every part of the body, no matter how insignificant it may seem, plays a role in this. An important detail to remember is that (unlike in the animal world) you should not try to impress him. It’s about subtly showing someone that you like them. If your target realizes that you like him, his interest in you will naturally grow.
Your most important weapon: your eyes
Time to take those sunglasses off your nose! Your eyes are your most important flirting supplies. Flirting with someone who is wearing sunglasses is therefore not recommended. We tend to think that eyes are mainly intended to receive messages, but nothing could be further from the truth; with our eyes we can send extremely intense messages. Because making eye contact is so intense, we often limit it to short glances. With strangers we even avoid eye contact lasting longer than one second. When we are in a place full of unfamiliar people, eye contact generally lasts even a split second. Some avoid looking at anyone at all. Precisely because it is so intense, making eye contact while flirting is so important. Even in a crowded room at a party, you can tell an attractive person standing yards away that you like him by holding his gaze for a while. The way you look at someone and then look away is crucial when flirting. But be careful, because a big mistake that you should definitely avoid is looking too long. This may seem like a way to increase intensity, but it will actually be counterproductive because it will come across as hostile. The best thing you can do is this: you make eye contact, hold his gaze for about 3 seconds, and then look away. How do you know if he is interested in you? When he looks away for a moment and then makes eye contact with you again. It is completely clear when he also smiles. If he no longer looks back or you were unable to hold his gaze, it could be that he is not interested. There’s also a possibility that he’s simply too shy to make eye contact. To find out, you have to observe how he behaves around other people. If you notice that he makes little eye contact with others and is shy or even nervous, then it is a matter of shyness. You can decide to let it go or see it as a challenge.
Don’t worry, be happy!
Being beautiful is a bonus, but appearance is much more important than a handsome face. Be cheerful, be cheerful, laugh! Because when you smile you are most attractive. You show that you are a person who goes through life happily and radiates positivity. Moreover, you will appear confident, and he will certainly find that attractive. You see plenty of girls and women walking around who try to look arrogant and/or quasi-pretty, and then expect to get a lot of jibes. Don’t be like that. Smiling at your target while flirting isn’t necessary, but is certainly a charming gesture. Scary? Then make sure you laugh the moment you look at him, for example because a friend said something funny.
What do I do with my arms and legs?
Not only your face is important, your whole body plays a role when flirting. Make sure your posture is open; this means no arms crossed over your chest and your shoulders back. Play a little with your hair, with the stem of a wine glass or with your bracelet. If you want to draw attention to your legs, cross your legs repeatedly. If you prefer to focus on your bosom, you can play with your necklace, for example. But don’t overdo it, you don’t want to come across as a cat in heat.
With him speaking: what now?
If you manage to strike up a conversation with him, keep in mind that it’s just a conversation and you don’t have to try hard. That reduces the pressure. Another fact that makes it less scary to talk to him: when he meets you for the first time, he pays 55% attention to your appearance and body language, 38% to the way you speak and what you actually say only counts. for 7%. So it is especially important to pay attention to the way you speak, the words you choose are less important. The way you talk depends on several factors: the tone of your voice, the volume, the pitch and the speed at which you speak. Try out how to make the word yes sound. You will notice that by changing your voice you can convey all kinds of different emotions in that word, from crazy enthusiasm to disbelief to boredom. So when you talk to your target it is very important to pay attention to the way you talk; if you speak in a monotone, with little variation in pitch, you will come across as dull and bored. On the other hand, if you speak very loudly, with a lot of variation in pitch, it will be too busy and overwhelming. Try to find a middle ground by speaking clearly, with enough pitch variation, to keep his attention. You can wait for him to come to you to talk, but you can also try to start a conversation yourself. Use something from the immediate environment that you can talk about; think of the weather, what he is wearing, what he is doing, etc. So-called original opening sentences are not necessary at all! Keep the conversation light, don’t pour out your good and bad things on him and don’t exaggerate with compliments.
Finally, now I can sink my claws into him!
Don’t be so hasty! One person is more physically inclined than the other, but it is wise to be careful when touching someone. Touching someone is a subtle, but very powerful form of communication. Even the smallest touch, according to scientific research, can have a drastic effect during an encounter between strangers. If you’re going to flirt, you have to know what you’re doing when you touch someone, because if you do it wrong you can really mess it up. Although it may differ from culture to culture and from person to person, there are some basic rules for touching. The first is: be careful. Women are generally more sensitive to touch than men, but that doesn’t mean you have to be careful as a woman. Men can quickly think that it is a sexual invitation. The arm is a good, safe place to touch him. If he doesn’t like it, you’ll see that soon enough; when he pulls his arm away, creates distance or turns away. If he likes you, he may show signs such as making more eye contact, coming closer to you, smiling more, etc. If the latter happens, you can touch him on the arm again. If he responds well to this, you can go one step further by touching his hand. Just remember that this is much more personal than the arm, so keep it short and quick. If he doesn’t respond well to this, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t like you. Maybe he’s just not ready to be that personal with you yet, and it’s best to wait a little longer. This way you can always go one step further in touching. Remember to touch him twice in the same place to make sure he allows it.
Don’t be afraid that you won’t succeed; he must be a very stiff rake if he doesn’t show even a little interest in you. And there are still plenty of nice other guys left to try it out with. Have fun!