Being “kind” to yourself does not mean that you have to operate without any form of self-discipline. Overall, our population, and in the Western world the Dutch are one of the leaders, is quite hard on themselves. Whether this is in the genes, is/is given by faith or there is another reason for it, we are not always kind to ourselves.
Strong and weak points
Many people are prone to self-criticism when something goes wrong. Many a man or woman reacts violently to a mistake made, often without first considering whether the cause could lie elsewhere or, and that is the most important thing, you have done something wrong in which you are also less strong or have fewer qualities. .
This brings up a relatively sensitive point and that is accepting what you are strong at and what you are not. We believe that you should be able to do everything well and although that is a laudable goal, it is not realistic . When you are very young, you are trying things out and that is good, but at some point it crystallizes itself and you start to experience what is close to you and what is not. Where your qualities lie and where they don’t. But then the next point comes: giving in to this and expanding on what you are good at and further training yourself in it, either necessarily wanting to be an all-rounder or doing something that is purely inspired by the head.
Capability
Capability is what is in your genes, what you have gained experience in and where you may have studied. The total picture determines how capable you are and where your qualities lie. An organizer with a real sense of people can just as easily run a large family, organize a mega party or manage a business unit with different points of interest in a care center.
A true leader can see the big picture, direct an organization and pull the cart and put the right people in the right place. As an example, a general manager who is actually a micromanager will never be a great leader. He/she may have undergone training in that direction, but does not have the genes for great leadership.
There are many more examples.
Wrong choice
Getting angry with yourself when you have done something wrong only makes sense if you realize what went wrong and why. Getting angry is an emotion and it is better to switch it off during such a process. Focusing on where, as an example, a micromanager can fulfill an excellent role is more beneficial than being strict, sticking to known elements, taking more courses in the existing direction, hiring a coach, etc.
Source: Ferobanjo, Pixabay
Disappointment
The next question is how to deal with disappointment. After all, it is about accepting that a certain job is not going well and considering where your qualities lie. Don’t blame others directly, but don’t punish yourself too harshly either. Turn the process around and see where your qualities lie and get started with them.
In such a process, and many people are involved in this, peace of mind is essential. Many people have previously made a choice with their head, while a choice in which the heart also plays a role will ultimately be much more successful. When you are ready to use your heart in your new choices, that peace of mind is very important. Your head should have enough space to think about all these things and give your heart the opportunity to get involved. It sounds plastic, but if you allow yourself to engage in such a process, you will notice that it works like this.
Success assured?
Ultimately it will be more successful, but that does not mean that you will immediately score without a fight. This means that you have to give yourself the time to make a new choice. Perhaps give up an acquired position to start from scratch and work hard to become successful. This can only mean that in addition to being prepared, you also have to be able to withstand setbacks. Or popularly said, three steps forward and 1 or 2 back! But since it is something that your heart also lies in, you can have more. This has now been scientifically proven.
Give yourself something
Such a process demands a lot from a person and not always being strict with yourself or going back to the familiar (which you may be less good at) is lurking. Such a trajectory only works if you actually want to go for it and allow yourself to do where your heart lies. Without a heart there is no head and vice versa, which means that these go well together. You just have to allow yourself to do it, consider it worth it and have the courage to take such a step. In short, with heart and soul … making ,choices of the heart,!.