The love of a colleague can make your work considerably more enjoyable. Or ruin your career. The most important tips for a relationship at work. Because keeping a relationship in the office a secret is hardly conceivable.
With your partner in the same office. Is that going well?
Absolute! An online survey by Jobscout24 (March 2010) showed that no less than 37% of permanent relationships arise at work. And it is claimed that office relationships are particularly crisis-proof. The reason: in the beginning one is careful and avoids hasty expressions of feelings for the other. After all, you also have to work together.
You have already gotten to know each other a little under various circumstances . And it is precisely in this that psychologists see an explanation for the fact that relationships established in the workplace last longer than a holiday or disco flirt. You know how the other person deals with stress, how he behaves (or misbehaves) after a few beers, and so on.
In short, every bad quality, but also all the strong points, has already been discovered before the first night together. With a colleague you usually will not be confronted with unexpected surprises.
How do we tell the others?
It’s better to say nothing at first. In any case, there is no legal obligation to inform managers or colleagues about your choice of partner. But once you are sure of each other’s love, it’s time to give up the hide and seek. Otherwise , the lies will become a burden on your relationship. And people have probably noticed for a long time that there is something between you.
Is flirting allowed at work?
Strictly speaking, it is not forbidden to show affection at work. As long as your work doesn’t suffer. Otherwise, there may be employment law consequences.
It is recommended that you refrain as much as possible from endearments and/or the use of pet names: this is the only way to maintain your authority and respect towards other colleagues.
I’m in love with my boss
Even the greatest of the world have screwed up their secretaries at one time or another. But you know what? Typically, none of these women work in their former profession after a while. According to psychologists
, relationships between a manager and his/her subordinate are a greater source of unrest than normal relationships between colleagues:
- always rumors (,he gets preferential treatment,);
- always distrust (,what I tell that person, the boss also hears immediately,);
- plenty of room for conflicts of interest. It is difficult to assign unpleasant tasks to your sweetheart;
- and often the result is that managers demonstratively treat their partners worse than other employees.
The solution: find another job or at least ask for a transfer to another department.
And what if things go wrong with your relationship?
After losing a relationship at work, you should reduce contact as quickly as possible. In that context, it is conceivable that you will take your remaining leave. But it is better that you cut off contact completely and ask for a transfer. Under no circumstances pit colleagues against each other, as this will ultimately only lead to annoyance among managers and employees.
Can you request a transfer?
In such a case, you could request a transfer to another department or consider the possibilities of working from home. Strictly speaking, you are not entitled to this, but because it is in the interests of the company, there are few arguments against it. In this way you are actually imposing a disciplinary measure on yourself, but it is a measure that does benefit harmony in the workplace.
If transfer is not an option
But suppose you have a crisis in your relationship, you work in the same office and a transfer is not an option. How should you behave then?
Same as always. Professional. Because anyone who fails to separate his private life from his profession must take legal consequences into account. Anyone who argues with their partner at work, no longer looks at him or her or favors others, spoils the atmosphere at work.
And despite all understanding for some distance: anyone who no longer even says good morning to his ex shows weakness. And that hurts you more than the other person.
How do you say as a woman that I don’t want anything from him?
It is best to be clear right away and before there are flowers on your desk. If your colleague asks you on a date, tell him clearly that you are not interested. Men need clarity. And especially at work, you can’t afford misunderstandings or angry faces, even if you secretly feel flattered by the attention.