We all want to be happy and become happy. That is one of the things we all strive for in our lives. Even though we are healthy, we don’t go hungry and we live like kings, we don’t feel happy because of that, but what makes us happy and how can we influence our own sense of happiness? There is one advantage to all of this. From middle age onwards we all become a little happier on average. The reason lies in change of focus. From that age onwards, positive things are remembered better than negative things, while it is the other way around for young people.
Innate sense of happiness
The feeling of happiness is largely innate (about forty to fifty percent). There are people who almost always feel good about themselves. They are not easily upset and usually still see the sunny side. They have a high innate sense of happiness. This was noted by researcher David Lykken (behavioral geneticist and emeritus professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Minnesota). It often turns out that people who believe that they can direct their own lives and therefore influence their lives positively are happier than people who think that everything is predestined. We can partly influence the remaining fifty to sixty percent of our happiness that is not innate. And the good news is that we are also doing this en masse. Nine out of ten Dutch people are happy or at least satisfied with their lives.
Environmental factors
Ten percent of our happiness is influenced by our environment. Where were we born? Do we live in a poor or a rich country? Is it war or peace. Are we rich or poor? So money does have an influence on our sense of happiness, but that influence is not that great. Money only makes you happy up to a certain amount. When we don’t have to worry about bills or save money to make necessary repairs, we have enough money to be happy. Enough money for a feeling of freedom and independence. More money than that doesn’t really make you happier.
Which part of our sense of happiness can we influence?
About thirty to forty percent of our happiness is determined by what we do and our thoughts about it. So we can certainly influence this part ourselves.
Happiness often lies in small things, such as the feeling of being appreciated, both at work and in private life. We also become happy when we feel needed. This gives meaning to our existence. To become happy from the feeling of being appreciated, the personal aspect is very important, which is why we often feel this way more quickly in the private sphere than in the working sphere. Doing something for someone else and having the feeling that you are doing something for someone else has been able to do, so you are satisfied and happy.
People with a good memory are generally slightly happier and slightly more optimistic than people with a bad memory. Positive feelings stay with us longer than negative feelings. A good memory also provides more self-confidence and that also makes you happier. This is evident from research conducted by the University of Stirling. The good news here is that you can improve your memory. Read the article: Tips to improve your memory.
Ambition encourages you to take action and be meaningful. That’s why ambition also makes you happy. People need meaningful activities to develop and enjoy life to the full. Too much is never good, if you go too far in your ambition and therefore no longer pay attention to the things around you, but only for your end goal will this have a negative effect on your sense of happiness. Pointless daily activities, such as a very long commute between work and private life, also have a negative impact on feelings of happiness in the long run.
Spirituality helps you become fully aware of your surroundings and thus enjoy it to the fullest. This also helps to prevent stress. For these reasons, courses such as mindfulness and yoga are often recommended to people who suffer from feelings of depression. If you want to know more about this, you can read the following article: Spirituality, new age and meaning.
Social relationships and especially having a partner also contribute to the feeling of happiness. Man is a social animal. We need other people and validation from other people to feel happy. People without a partner can also be happy, provided they have enough valuable relationships around them.
Physical exercise also contributes to feelings of happiness. We all sit too much and move too little. Being physically active every day helps against depression and can also positively influence feelings of happiness. Even the ‘seven-minute workouts’ seem to make a positive contribution to this.
You can also influence your sense of happiness by thinking positively. Your thinking largely influences your feelings. Try to stimulate positive thinking by writing down three positive things every day. But use your strengths and utilize your talents. You feel happy when you have committed yourself to something you believe in and that you find important. There are few people who feel so incredibly happy sitting on the couch in front of the TV.
Try to stop qualities that hinder you from being happy
- Don’t worry and fantasize about trouble. Try to stop negative thoughts in time.
- Don’t be too perfectionist, you are allowed to make mistakes.
- Don’t be a moral knight, but be a little tolerant.
- Try to be satisfied with what you have.
- Be open to others and don’t close yourself off.
- Be positive towards others too. Of course, you shouldn’t bottle everything up, but constantly talking about your problems doesn’t make you happy.
- Take action and take action in your life. Doing nothing makes you grumpy.
- Accept yourself as you are and do not criticize yourself unnecessarily.
Correlation genes and environment
An observant reader has probably already discovered that the added percentages do not make one hundred percent. A large part of the feeling of happiness also has to do with the correlation between genes and the environment. A child’s character can be so obstructive that it evokes negative reactions. The child experiences these reactions both at school and at home and often also in social interactions with friends. This has a negative impact on the child’s sense of happiness, especially when the innate sense of happiness was already low. In that case, there is a good chance that the child will become grumpy due to the negative reactions and will be seen as annoying not only by the immediate environment, but even by strangers he or she encounters on the street. For some people this correlation will be stronger than for others and will therefore have a greater influence on the feeling of happiness.