People communicate with each other constantly. We use the telephone, personal conversations or the internet to communicate our messages to each other. This type of communication is through verbal communication, talking, or through written language. But much more often we use non-verbal communication, body language. Everyone uses body language even if we are not always aware of it. There are even courses that teach people the power of body language. But be careful, body language abroad is not always the same as in the Netherlands.
Non-verbal communication
Body language is of course only noticeable when you see each other. Yet we are already working on it as soon as we get out of bed. About 90% of our communication consists of non-verbal communication, i.e. body language. When we comb our hair and dress carefully before we step out the door, we do so with the intention of looking good. Not only for ourselves but also so that others will see us as a cared for person. Some people learn from their profession which colors are best to wear. Politicians are told that it is best to wear a dark blue suit. Dark blue inspires confidence and that is exactly what a politician is looking for. When a person is going to tell something important to a group, he often wears a red tie. The red tie acts like a red arrow pointing to the speaker’s face. So how you dress, what you do with your hair, what colors you wear all have to do with non-verbal communication.
Emotions
When it comes to emotion, body language is often very clearly recognisable. When someone is angry, they frown, fold their arms or put them on their sides, and their lips often become narrower. When someone is happy, the eyes shine, the mouth is curled into a smile and the posture is open. A sad person is also easy to recognize by a sad look in the eyes and the often slumped shoulders. Body language is an important form of communication. Mutual relationships are established through body language. The first contacts between people are usually determined first by body language, later communication continues in a different way. By looking closely at someone else you can find out what someone else really wants to tell us, or how someone else really feels. There are several signals we can look at to better understand body language. The appearance, posture, movements, facial expressions and intonation of the voice.
The difference between male and female body language
As with many things, body language is different in men and women. In the presence of others, men take up more space than women. Men usually sit with their legs apart or with their legs stretched out in front of them. Women, on the other hand, often sit with their legs next to or crossed, regardless of whether they are wearing a skirt or pants. Men rarely sit with their hands on their knees, but they do sit with an ankle on the knee of the other leg. Women regularly shake their heads to throw hair away from their faces, even if they have short hair. Men will rarely do this, even if they have long hair. You will almost never see a woman sitting back with her hands folded behind her neck and a man is unlikely to cross his foot behind his calf. You never see a man twirling his hair and you don’t often see a woman scratching her head while she’s thinking. It is not certain whether these differences in body language have special meanings, but it is very noticeable that they are there.
Culture and differences in body language
Different cultures also have different ways of body language. For example, Italians will communicate much more with their hands than Dutch people. Also, different countries have different ways of nodding and moving the mouth to express yes or no or to show disapproval. The international gesture for paying, rubbing the fingers with the thumb, is not the same in Greece. In Greece they make a writing movement to ask for the bill. So be careful abroad and do not simply assume that certain movements have the same meaning as those you are used to in the Netherlands.
Tips to communicate better using clear body language
It is not always easy to give yourself the correct posture, we often fidget with our hands or don’t know where to look. We wonder how we come across to the other person and therefore cannot concentrate on what we want to say. Here are a few tips to help you appear more confident with your body language and clearly convey what you want to say.
Upright
Keep your shoulders back and your head straight, stand up straight. This not only makes you radiate self-confidence, it also gives you a feeling of strength. You look like you have everything under control and if you always maintain eye contact with your conversation partner, you appear confident.
Open attitude
When we have our arms folded during a conversation, we appear defensive. When we make hand gestures, especially open hand gestures, with the palms open upwards, we appear relaxed. Even if we are not at all, for example during a job interview.
Mirror
When we like someone and we want to be friends with that person, we unconsciously imitate their body language. We do this by adjusting our posture a few moments after the other person has moved. When we are going to have a difficult conversation, it can be useful to subtly imitate the body language of the person with whom you have to have the conversation. Be careful with that, because before you know it you will have the stamp of creep on your name.
Speaking the truth
Research has shown that when we are joking, our feet come off the ground for a moment after talking. We also go to our face with our hands five to ten times more often. We touch our eyes, ears or nose more often or rub our neck or neck several times, all of which can indicate that a lie is being made.
Eye contact
If we want to empathize with someone else, we automatically make eye contact. We look in a triangle from a person’s right eye to the left, then down to the nose, mouth or chin. When we want someone to take us seriously, complete the circle and end by looking straight between the eyebrows.
To apologize
When we want to apologize to someone, the best way to do so is to stand to the left of the person at that moment. When we stand in the left side of someone’s field of vision, we appeal to his or her emotional side.
Use of voice and tempo
Because we speak at a leisurely pace and use different pitches, we appear more confident, intelligent and interesting.
Finally
The use of non-verbal communication often goes unnoticed. But few people consciously use their body language to influence other people. The people who do do so often do so because they need it because of their profession, such as politicians and commercial salespeople, they use body style coaches, voice coaches, clothing advisors and other advisors to give them the best possible advice and to train. The above tips are enough to help us on our way in everyday life and to make us a little more confident. So that we can apply for jobs more easily or get to know new people. Don’t forget that we are all beautiful people and unique in our actions. We certainly don’t all want to do and say the same things. These are therefore tips and certainly not a way of life.