Dating via the internet: this is how it works

Meeting love via the internet is quite normal in 2019. If you are looking for love on the internet for the first time, it can be quite exciting. It actually remains exciting because you don’t know exactly who the other person is. There are now many dating websites and apps, some of which are aimed at certain target groups. You can often indicate your preferences on dating websites, which increases the chance that you will meet someone with the same interests.

Why date via the internet?

There can be many different reasons for looking for a date via the internet. The internet also makes it easy. Where in the past you might have had to approach someone at a sports club or while going out, you don’t have to worry about a possible public rejection or not being able to express yourself through the internet. On a dating website or dating app you also know that there are all kinds of people looking for a relationship, while in the pub, for example, you don’t know whether someone is already in a relationship or perhaps not looking for a relationship.

What also makes dating via the internet easy is that you don’t have to leave the house in the first place. If you have a busy job, there is sometimes little time left to really look for love. You can first get to know someone from home behind your computer and if you feel like you have a good match, then you only have to meet up. Another option is to use a dating app to search for a match and send messages on the train home from work, for example.

Where to start?

With all the commercials on television and radio, it is almost impossible to ignore dating websites and dating apps, but a forum or chat website can also be a good way to meet someone.

Through a dating website

Through a dating site you can be fairly certain that the other person is also looking forward to meeting you. Many dating sites allow you to enter preferences, making it easier for you to search for someone you prefer. There are also dating sites that are fairly theme-related, such as a site for the agricultural sector, one for higher educated people and, among other things, a dating site for seniors.

Although a dating website is a really good way to search specifically for a partner, it may cost some money. With some dating websites you already pay for a membership or part of the use is free, but if you want to send a certain number of messages, for example, you have to pay for it. However, if you know that people are paying for it, there is a greater chance that they are people who are seriously looking. It varies per website how much and whether you have to pay.

Through a dating app

Do you want to quickly look for a date? Then a dating app can be very useful. There are many different dating apps available for download, just like a dating website, costs may be involved. The app allows you to easily search through profiles on the go. With some apps you have the function to immediately send someone a short message and/or let them know that you like the profile by simply pressing one button. There are also apps where you can see if someone is nearby. It can be a bit confrontational if you are in a cafe or restaurant somewhere and you see the person right away, but if you are both looking it can also be very useful.

Through a forum

The advantage of a forum is that they are often linked to a theme, for example cars or horses, so that someone else may have the same interest. Only you don’t know whether the other person is also looking for love, because in principle they come there to talk about a certain subject and not to date. However, meetings are sometimes organized through forums, making it easy to meet people with the same interest.

Via a chat website

Chat websites sometimes give you the option to chat privately. Chatting is a fast way to make contact because you don’t have to wait for e-mail messages, for example. You immediately send texts back and forth and quickly find out whether there is a click. Since a chat is relatively anonymous, if you have good contact with someone, you will have to exchange email addresses or the like. If you leave the chat, you will actually lose the person you were chatting with unless you perhaps agree on a different day and time to chat under the same name.

How do you proceed?

Be honest yourself, but do not provide private information such as a telephone number or home address yet. You can open a conversation well by, for example, discussing a topic in current affairs. This way you immediately experience someone else’s opinion and a conversation flows smoothly. On chat websites there are a lot of people who start with standard questions such as:

  • In which place do you live?
  • What is your age?
  • What are your hobbies?

This means you learn a lot about a person in a short time, but there is a chance that the conversation is considered boring or that the conversation ends early because no further topics emerge. Dating sites often allow you to enter a lot of information and preferences, which makes it easier because you are more likely to be linked to someone with the same interests. Completing your own profile also helps others to find you as a match. If you are looking for a serious relationship, take your preferences and interests seriously.

With most dating apps and websites you have a profile where you also post a profile photo. It is up to you to choose what kind of photo you post, but make sure that a photo is not too misleading. You probably wouldn’t like it if you actually went to meet up and discovered that someone looked completely different. If you don’t want to be in full view right away, you can choose to post a photo of yourself standing a little further away.

When do you click?

Of course, you can feel this best yourself. If a conversation quickly comes to a standstill there may not be a connection, but if you can easily fill hours sending messages to each other then there may be some attraction or interest. You can also notice it if you stop sending messages, do something else for a while and then see how you still feel about the conversation.

When are you going to meet?

When are you going to meet up after finding someone on the internet? That can be quite difficult, because what do you know about someone? You can send messages back and forth a few times, but you still don’t really know whether the other person is who he or she says he or she is. In any case, to better know whether the person is telling the truth, you could ask if you can see the other person via a webcam. This way you at least know whether the person is the same person as in the photo or as they described themselves. If the person lives nearby, it might be useful not to postpone a meeting for too long. As soon as you get to know someone in real life, you only really know whether it is a suitable date for you.

The date

If you start dating someone via the internet, even after asking a lot of questions, you still know very little about someone. For safety reasons, always meet in a place where there are many other people, for example, agree to have a drink on a terrace. If you have a drink there is also the opportunity to talk. To be on the safe side, always take a phone with you and let someone else know that you are on a date with someone and where.

Set your boundaries by, for example, agreeing on an end time with yourself and by keeping it all and just a drink on the first date. Keep in mind that the date may be different than you expected. However, many successful relationships have come from internet dating, so take your time and look for your true love.

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