Everyone is jealous, but no one admits it, because envy is considered a bad character trait. But being jealous is also a feeling with positive aspects.
Envy also has positive sides
The jealous look from the corner of your eye at a successful colleague gives it away just as much as the looks of your son at the beautiful mountain bike of the boy next door. For one person it is a nice car, for another it is the attractive new flame of his best friend, we are all jealous.
According to Western social standards, envy is one of the seven deadly sins. It manifests itself differently in men and women. But that negative emotion also has its advantages.
Why are we jealous?
Being jealous is caused by the fact that we consider our status in a group to be very important. We feel disadvantaged when we cannot achieve the status of an envied person, even though appearances are often deceiving.
But just because the neighbor has a bigger car and a nicer house doesn’t mean he’s richer or happier. But envy cannot always be explained logically. Dissatisfaction or a feeling perceived as injustice fuels feelings of envy from frustration, anger and sadness.
But the negative feeling also has a number of positive consequences. When my colleague performs well, I am secretly a little jealous of that. But it also shows recognition. Moreover, that negative feeling also encourages me.
Different types of jealousy
Two types of jealousy are usually distinguished:
- one motivates;
- the other has a negative effect.
Both types are present in jealous people. Suppose a colleague performs much better than yourself, you often become frustrated by this and try to put him in a bad light. Although that is reprehensible behavior, it does work. The other person gets a bad name among other colleagues.
Even more types of envy
Researchers at the University of Leipzig even distinguish four types of envy:
- first, there is the ambitious and stimulating envy when someone gains admiration from his competitors. If the envious people would make the same effort, they would also be able to achieve the desired result, or so they think;
- the second type of jealousy can be described as downright hostile and harmful: ,If I cannot afford a holiday home on the Côte d’Azur for myself, neither can the other person,;
- thirdly, a depressive and paralyzing form of envy is distinguished. It is a form of jealousy that makes you sad, because people who experience this form believe that they can never achieve what the other has achieved;
- and finally, the researchers mention an indignant form of envy, present in people who feel discriminated against and treated unfairly.
Envy is a social phenomenon
Perhaps the media are the culprits who create jealousy? ,Not necessarily,, says the Dutch ,envy researcher, Van de Ven (Tilburg University). He acknowledges that the media often shows well-known characters who are relatively wealthy. That could give people the impression that this is the standard. But he doubts whether this encourages jealousy. Because the super-rich are too far removed from our own lives.
It all depends on who we are to know who we are jealous of: as an employee you are not jealous of the boss with his spacious mansion, nor of the CEO. But on those you can compare yourself with.
Social media and being jealous
Social media, on the other hand, gives more reason to become jealous. Facebook users often express negative feelings about messages from other users. And social media can also make it easy for insecure people or people with low self-esteem to become jealous.
Are women jealous differently than men?
Apparently envy manifests itself differently in women than in men. Women tend to react with sadness and depression. This probably has something to do with culturally determined gender roles. The man, on the other hand, reacts with anger and aggression.
The object of envy also differs: while men mainly desire material possessions and success, women are jealous of attractive women. This is due to evolution: when choosing a partner, men pay particular attention to the attractiveness of the woman. Women, on the other hand, primarily seek safety and security from their partner.