Gossip, we all do it. We are not always proud of the fact that we gossip, but we do it for a reason. Gossip used to have several important functions and was even of vital importance. Gossip also serves a purpose in modern times. Whether we like it or not, gossiping is in our instincts. Do you also recognize it, making excuses about someone else? About that strange hairstyle or that inappropriate behavior? People spend a large part of their time gossiping. Gossip is often seen as undesirable behavior. People can be hurt and trust in relationships can be lost. Yet everyone does it. We not only tell gossip, but we often also listen attentively to gossip that others tell. Gossip is irresistible, whether we like it or not, we do it. It is, as it were, a basic need.
Instinct
Gossip is in our instincts. It is, as it were, a behavioral pattern that has already been ingrained in our ancestors. When people were still hunters and gatherers, gossip was very important. For example, capturing a large animal or chasing away an enemy tribe is simply not possible. People needed a group for that. At the same time, the hunters and gatherers of the past had to compete with each other for food and a mate, for example. In addition, in a group there is always the risk that one person does more work than the other. This was detrimental to the group. In short: people had to keep an eye on each other and know what was going on in the group, to know who was reliable and who could be a good friend or life partner. They did this, among other things, through gossip.
Norm breakers become known
Even in modern times we benefit from gossiping. The gossip about, for example, a colleague who is cutting corners or that project partner who always does not complete his or her work is therefore useful. Through gossip we are warned about people who transgress the norms of the group. This way we don’t have to keep an eye on everyone in our social environment. The group deteriorates when people violate group norms. So something has to be done about that. Through gossiping, one can also gather supporters to take action together.
Behavior exposed
Of course, there is also the option of directly addressing the norm violator in question about his or her behavior. However, many people don’t do this. Addressing someone directly about his or her behavior also brings consequences. The person in question may turn against you or take revenge. Through gossip you can expose behavior without approaching someone directly. The threat of gossip also has a certain effect. The threat of gossip is often a motivation to adhere to the group’s norm and thus avoid a bad reputation in the group.
Group norms in development
Gossip is not only effective in detecting norm violators, but also plays a role in shaping group norms. With the help of gossip, one can determine whether one’s own worldview and norms match those of the group. Do they also think what you think? It is thought that gossip emerged mainly to deal with harmful violations of norms. Gradually, harmless violations of norms have also become the subject of gossip, such as striking clothing or a ‘strange’ hairstyle. In this way you develop, as it were, a social map; what is possible and what is not possible.
Strengthen the bond
It is not surprising that we also simply enjoy gossiping. Gossip strengthens the bond between us and our fellow group members. Negative gossip is particularly suitable for this. Negative shared gossip in particular creates a feeling of connection. It is not advisable to immediately express yourself strongly when you join a group. First try to understand what the applicable norms are in the group.
Reduce stress
Gossip is an excellent way to vent your emotions and let off some steam. This releases frustration and reduces a feeling of stress.
Backlit: pro-self gossip
There are several reasons why gossip is useful. Yet gossip is often considered objectionable. There is a difference between pro-social gossip and pro-self gossip. Pro-self gossip is aimed at improving one’s own position and reputation by putting other group members down. The danger of pro-self gossip is that the recipient bases their decisions on incorrect information. It is therefore important to always be on your guard as a hearer of gossip.