You are walking in the supermarket holding your toddler’s hand or perhaps he is sitting in the shopping cart. While shopping, he makes it clear to you that he wants something that you don’t like at that moment. Your toddler gets angry and his tantrum inevitably results. He throws himself to the ground and starts kicking around or tries to throw himself out of the shopping cart. Does this sound familiar? Then read what you can do about it or how you can prevent it.
- How does it arise?
- What can you do?
- Comfort your child
Toddlers are little people who are not yet able to put into words everything they want to say. Their insights, thinking skills and skills are also still developing. At certain times this inability rears its head when something is not allowed or is not possible. The toddler becomes frustrated. Out of powerlessness, the toddler becomes angry and the tantrum ensues. How the child behaves differs per child. The child may bang their head against the wall, kick, hit, scream, throw and even hold their breath. Almost all parents experience it to a greater or lesser extent, both at home and somewhere in the middle of the street. A tantrum from your toddler sometimes makes you angry yourself, causing you to give the wrong response.
To support your child during a tantrum, it is important to know what caused the tantrum.
How does it arise?
Frustration
A tantrum mainly arises from frustration. The toddler cannot yet respond optimally to a certain situation or cannot yet do something he would like to do.
- If your child has become angry after something has not worked out for him, you can sit quietly with him and help him with what he was doing. Also mention that you saw that something did not work and that you would like to help him with it.
- If the mood arose because he didn’t like something about you, you don’t have to pay much attention to it. Make sure he doesn’t hurt himself, but don’t give in or get irritated yourself.
Not enough attention
If the child feels that he or she is not receiving enough attention, he or she may also become angry and demand (command) your attention through his or her tantrum.
- Explain that you didn’t have time for him for a while, but that you would of course love to spend some time with him. Cuddle him and you will see that he will put his toddler arms around you and he will surrender.
Fatigue
Toddlers have to deal with many impressions and can suddenly become very tired. Sometimes they surrender to that and calm down and fall asleep. But the opposite also happens and they become wild, upset and end up in a tantrum.
- If the underlying reason is fatigue, you can also mention that. Comfort him because he is tired. Make sure your child quickly gets to a place where he can rest for a while.
What can you do?
In all cases, remain calm, breathe calmly and show your child that you are there for him no matter what, even if he is angry.
- If you see that your child is having a tantrum, stay calm.
- Kneel down next to your child so that you are at eye level.
- Speak with sweet soothing words, or explain that you want to help him.
- Grasp your toddler lovingly and embrace him. Hold him and let him cry. Comfort him. Most children lose their emotions this way.
Comfort your child
It is of course impossible to give your child his or her way afterward. So don’t give in! As a parent, you are the boss and you decide that something is not allowed. You are only showing him that you are there for him to comfort him in his sadness and anger. That feels nice for him.
For children who threaten to break things during a tantrum and where it is not possible to offer rapprochement and comfort, it is important to put the toddler in a safe place. Make sure your toddler cannot hurt himself or break valuables. Then let the child rage. Some children also lose their tantrum afterwards. When they are calm again, it is sometimes a good idea to offer a comforting arm.