A bullied child almost always carries the scars of bullying with him. Bullying must stop and parents also have an important role in this. If they recognize in time when their child is being bullied, they can intervene in various ways. But how do you recognize if your child is being bullied?
Bullying
Bullying occurs when a person is treated for a long time and repeatedly by one or more people in a way that causes mental and/or physical suffering. Bullying can be both verbal and non-verbal. Violence is often used. Although bullying is not unique to this era, the discussion about bullying flared up again in late 2012 and early 2013. This was the result of suicides and suicide attempts. The bullies themselves usually do not realize the impact bullying has on a child. Usually it is even the children who ‘walk along’ with the bully who are experienced as the worst by the bullied child. With the rise of the internet, so-called cyberbullying also made its appearance. This is also called digital bullying, where children are bullied on various social media. This form of bullying is common because it does not involve direct interaction between the bully and the bullied child. Unfortunately, this also lowers the threshold for bullying someone.
The consequences of bullying are very diverse. Examples of the consequences that the bullied child may experience are:
- Insecurity
- Fear of failure
- Feeling of inferiority
- Negative self image
Bullying or teasing?
It is important to make a clear distinction between teasing and bullying. Teasing and bullying are not the same. We speak of teasing when the interaction between the bully and the bullied child is mutual and on an equal level. Both parties are equal and treat each other mutually. Sometimes teasing causes arguments, but teasing can also be a good thing. For example, cynicism can be benign and poems with, for example, Sinterklaas can also fall under the fun form of teasing. So in teasing there is equality between the two people. Teasing usually stops after a short time.
How do you recognize if your child is being bullied?
The consequences of bullying can be physical or mental. An indication of bullying behavior may therefore be that your child suddenly has wounds and bruises in various places. In most cases there are no physical indications of the bullying. In this case it is more difficult to find out whether your child is being bullied. It is often the case that your child is ashamed that he or she is being bullied. Your child will therefore not easily start talking about bullying at home. However, there are usually indications that your child is being bullied. As a parent, be open and try to talk about bullying. The following indications may indicate that your child is being bullied:
- Your child is quieter than before.
- Your child often comes home from school with regrets.
- Your child cries at home more often than before.
- Your child no longer wants to go to school.
- Your child sleeps worse and wakes up sweaty and anxious.
- Your child no longer wants to walk the streets alone.
- Your child is showing flu symptoms even though he or she does not have the flu.
- Your child achieves poorer results at school.
My child is being bullied, what now?
Bullying usually happens at school or at the sports club. There are almost always supervisors present in those situations. As a parent, it is important to have a conversation with these supervisors and ask in detail what is happening to the child. Repeatedly addressing the school about bullying behavior can help, because sometimes saying it once is not enough. Also try to get more involved with the school. Walk around school more – for example during outdoor breaks – and linger a little longer after school, for example. Once you have a good idea of the bullies, make an action plan. For example, call the parents of the bullies and ask for a meeting. However, the most important thing you have to do as a parent is to give your child back their self-confidence. A bullied child needs a lot of compliments. Talk to the child a lot and tell him that the bullying is not his fault. Social support from the parents is very important for the bullied child.