Relatively many people have difficulty being alone, have little to do, are afraid of their own thoughts (or lack thereof) or simply cannot stand being alone for whatever reason. Still, being alone every now and then is a good thing. Then the only question is… do we dare to be alone?
take your time
Being truly alone is not just being alone for a moment, but withdrawing completely and where one person will sit in a hut on the heath, the other will withdraw by taking a plane and in the middle of nowhere (perhaps literally) to himself and the to come up with your own thoughts. But whatever you do, if you do it, take your time.
Being alone
Being alone is not lonely, because you can be lonely among many people and has a different basis than being alone. Being alone is creating time and space for your own thoughts. Most people, pushed up by Western society, hardly get around to thinking about their own thoughts and giving them space. Which is understandable in itself, because we have to do so much (especially from ourselves) and a full agenda offers little room to be alone with your thoughts.
What does it yield?
But besides the fact that you can always make room in your agenda, it should also always yield something for most people. The difference in what it yields for one person versus another is very diverse. Sometimes being alone is good to sort out your thoughts or at least allow your thoughts to flow. What is really going on in your mind, other than keeping that train moving? Giving space can also yield new insights or even creativity. Moreover, you can let yourself breathe properly again, feel your breath, hear your breath and it helps you at least feel your body.
Creativity
It can give you creativity in solutions for certain situations, but also progress in creativity in work. The space you create can be fleshed out by looking at situations from different angles. Where in your daily pattern you may be stuck in the train of thought as you have developed it (possibly with the help of), this gives your thoughts space – if they are not filled in other ways – to view a situation from different angles and consider the consequences. to view again. Your brain is given space, so to speak.
Furthermore, solutions that have already been devised can simmer again. Especially if you are impulsive by nature, such a situation can help you to give it more time, to embed it or to allow yourself to reflect.
A clear example is a woman who wanted to get a dog in addition to her two cats. But all those young dogs are nice, so you don’t make a well-considered decision. A decision that will bind you for an average of 10 to 12 years and is therefore not unimportant. Moreover, a dog is very different from a cat. And instead of those impulsive thoughts about getting a dog, she distanced herself. If she were going to get a dog, she would have rationally looked on the internet to see which one it should be. Discussed this with the vet and let it simmer for a while. Thoughts about letting go (also looked at the disadvantages of having a dog) and then put it aside for a while. Only after a few months did the thoughts about a dog arise again and suddenly the right feeling was there that a dog had to come. I now understand that the dog is there, but according to the lady in question, the space that was created strengthened the final answer.
Emotionally strong
Being able and daring to be alone is also a clear form of maturity. Consciously going through the process also means daring to confront yourself. Knowing that what you encounter in your own train of thought may not all be pleasant. Ultimately, it will give you a good dose of self-insight.
Youth
Youth shapes people, that is nothing new. But youth can also contribute to being able and daring to be alone. It has been scientifically proven that a child who is alone for a while (the mother does not necessarily have to be outside the home) and where the mother is in the picture again for a moment, knows that it is good. After all, the safe haven, which for most children is the mother, will return. The moments when a child is left to his own devices provide room for creativity. In children you see this especially in their play behavior, but also in fantasizing based on a story (in film or book form).
Being alone is not being lonely
The misunderstanding arises again and again and is unjustified. Because being alone is your choice or not, but it has a function that many people (sometimes only over time) come to experience as pleasant. The peace and quiet, literally and figuratively, can be the blessing you are waiting for in your busy life.
Loneliness is undesirable and people who are really lonely often have an empty and sad feeling inside. It is important that people often feel powerless to change the situation and this can arise from different angles. This may concern limited social skills, the living situation (think, for example, of older people who slowly see the people around them disappear), but also the environment. Where do you live and, for example, did you follow your partner and live in the middle of nowhere?
Finally
It is good to seek help for loneliness, but being alone is a matter of daring to seek it out. Bury yourself in your own thoughts and make space. It is advisable for everyone to look for such a moment at least once in a while, even if only to get inspired or rediscover your creativity.