No matter how parents do their best in raising children, boys and girls are simply different. As a parent, you will have to take this into account when raising boys and girls. But what are those differences between boys and girls?
Raising boys like girls
Boys are increasingly being raised as girls. They are taught feminine values and norms. That can be a good thing in itself, but boys also need to be able to identify with their masculine side and that simply looks a bit different. Many boys who are raised in an emphatically feminine manner experience problems with this because they resist it and because it creates insecurity.
Boys have much more energy than girls
Boys, just because they are, have a lot more energy than girls. They have to get rid of that excess and they often need the necessary challenges to do so. Boys want to measure themselves against others. For example, they want:
- To beat
- Pull
- To jump
- To build huts
- To research
- To design
- Experiment
Getting a grip on the world as a child
Boys get a grip on the world through the above things, they lay a foundation for their life that consists of competition, strength tests and hard work.
Parents and teachers often get tired of boys
Parents (but especially mothers) but also teachers often get very tired of all those busy boys. It’s easier for them if guys just sit there and don’t make too much of a fuss. But most boys actually like that, it’s in their genes, so to speak. It goes against their feelings, as it were. The fact that they are also punished for that behavior makes it even less fun. Moreover, it is not good for the development of their self-image and their development opportunities. They may see themselves as a tough firefighter who is very busy or as a police officer who protects people through drastic actions, but they do not receive the signals that this is a good thing. It is good that they remain in their seats and continue to calculate correctly.
Difficult or violent behavior in boys
More and more boys are difficult or violent. This may be the perception of parents and other educators, but it probably also has to do with the constant restraint of boys. This can help:
- Let boys develop their masculine side and don’t push it into the background. Let them learn to read and write a little later
- Recognize the feminine side of boys, but don’t overestimate it and just let them be boys
- Let them do man things, especially with a role model. This could be the father, but also another man who is in the area. Let them play with each other so they can measure strength, let them do manly things like building huts or go fishing with them.
- Let them play or exercise as much as possible to channel their energy
- Guide a boy and make adjustments where necessary.
- Give boys structure and regularity
- If possible, choose a man for the class
Girls: want acceptance and cooperation
Girls are naturally much more focused on acceptance and cooperation. They want to be loved and liked and are also much more adaptable than boys. They are also often dutiful. Girls are also much more focused on group functioning and are therefore much more likely to feel responsible for the well-being of others. Girls learn mainly by following instructions and much less by experimenting with behavior. As a result, girls often have a fixed plan in their heads about how things should be done. It also makes them bossy sometimes. Everything has to go according to that plan in their heads and if that doesn’t work, they get angry.
Girls have become more assertive
Girls have also changed over the years. Among other things, they have become more assertive. They study, have a good job. But girls also see that mothers have to do a lot: have a good job but also take care of the children.
Girls’ appearance is important from an early age
In today’s society, appearance is also very important. For boys, but especially for girls. If you don’t look perfect, get a Botox treatment or have your face remodeled. Girls are therefore given the message at a very young age that they have to look sexy and beautiful and they have to do all kinds of things to do so. Because sex seems much more important nowadays, girls often cross their boundaries in that regard. Because they have to look sexy, but they also radiate that they want sex. While that is often not the case at all. Raise girls in such a way that they are resilient and say no when they do not want something.
Raising girls: important issues
In the education of girls it is therefore important that:
- They are always told that they are perfect just the way they are
- They keep hearing that they don’t have to set too high standards for themselves
- They look nice, but they shouldn’t have to wear make-up at the age of 9
- They are given every opportunity to talk about what concerns them
- They learn that they are not responsible for someone else when things go wrong. Certainly not at a young age
- They learn to indicate their boundaries and dare to say no if they don’t want something
Biological differences between boys and girls
There are biological differences between boys and girls. These are:
- Girls mature faster and can also read and write sooner
- Boys therefore mature less quickly and are therefore more susceptible to diseases and maturation disorders such as ADHD
- Boys are action-oriented
- Girls are relationship oriented
- Girls keep their problems inside and that is often bad for them
- Boys prefer to hit when they experience problems and that can get them into bad situations
Expectations
Moreover, parents often have high expectations of their offspring, whether they are girls or boys.
That can put enormous pressure on the children.